Albums for Eternity with Bottle, the Curmudgeon

Yippee! My copy of Nobody Loves You More, the new Kim Deal album, finally arrived. It took quite a journey from New York to Des Moines, then headed the wrong way over to Davenport, then back through Des Moines, and finally to me. It's fine, actually, i didn't have the new OS up and running properly until yesterday anyway. I somehow piped everything the wrong way and the volume control kept creating new audio sockets every time I raised or lowered it, eventually crashing everything. All fixed now, so bring on the quirky songs about loving me, or loving myself, or whoever it turns out loves whomever in a comparatively measurable way. Kim Deal is of course famous as the bassist of Pixies and frontwoman of her own band The Breeders, but this is a solo album with 19 other random and not so random people. I kid, of course, but part of my brain wants a "solo album" to be literally solo. I know, I know, it's her first time, i should be gentle (please note that joke is nei...

Oooh, brand new Linkin Park and Marilyn Manson albums. Legit head-to-head cage matches are so rare these days, what's the pre-fight stat sheet give us? Both bands i stopped caring about as 1999 wound to a grinding halt (you know with all the computers about to think it was 1900), so that's no help. I'm sure they're both canceled or whatever, so we're even. Kinda surprised Linkin Park has the grosser album cover (not remotely unreminiscent of Metallica's Load/Reload). Manson just has a painting of what most people look like without properly organized health care. What I've heard of Emily-fronted LP has been quite lovely, what I've heard of MM over the last 20-something years is an equally lovely nothing, so yeah we're just wading into the terrifying tunnel of hyperbolic sadness. Hope there's not a trolly problem waiting for us at the end, but [hold on, let me mix these metaphors real quick...ok] we'll cross that bridge when we're tied to i...

Maybe you forgot, but Spirit is my personal favorite Psych Rock band (if we don't include Iron Butterfly). What's their first "reunion" album like? Oh no, critics favorably compare it to Clear. That's the absolute worst of their original 4 albums. On the plus side, it's the least influenced by Randy Hawaii-fornia, so maybe it's actually better than the 2 stars Allmusic gives it. I definitely can't fault the concept, they had a great run with some terrible jet lag 3/4 of the way through, and after a ridiculously messy breakup they are by definition "Farther Along."  No, wait, this actually sounds good. Granted, good in the context of 1976, but Spirit never understood the concept of genre to begin with; they played all of them whenever convenient. I do have one criticism, some of the songs and instrumentals have an "unfinished" vibe, rather than what I'm sure was the intended "... and so forth..." fade out. Regardless, t...

Speaking of New Wave, I just listened to the penultimate J. Geils Band album, Feeze Frame, and it is awesome. You know the title track and Centerfold, but i highly doubt you know the album closer, Piss On The Wall.  It's not even really reviewable, to be honest, it's Freeze Frame, couple songs, Centerfold, couple more songs, and Piss On The Wall. I guess i could rehash what Post-Punk/New Wave New Wave was all about (actual dance club Rock & Roll with quirkily expensive synth leads), but you know The Cars and The Motels and Talking Heads. Believe it or not, the Ramones were considered New Wave rather than Punk in the beginning. Now we'd call them Pop Punk, but the point is that Rock in the late 70s existed on a spectrum from Corporate Cock to Nerdly Neurotic Pocket Protector, and in 1980/81 J. Geils Band said hold my beer, I gotta take a leak, how's this for "radio-friendly, twitchy nerd Rock with huge sing-along choruses?" Freakin' awesome, dude, freak...

I'm told Secret Treaties by Blue Öyster Cult is one of the best proto-metal albums of all time, but my ears are like "whaaaa?" Agree or not, this is Punk. Original, old-school, impossible to differentiate from New Wave, undeniably evolved from Psych/Garage Rock Punk, with a splash of Glam. This has way more in common with The Tube's or Boomtown Rats or New York Dolls or the Stooges than Uriah Heep or Black Sabbath or Deep Purple. If you wanted to call Steppenwolf or Iron Butterfly Proto Heavy Metal i wouldn't bat an eyelash, but not this. I'm batting all of them with my "do critics even listen to albums before deciding what to write about them" face. I will give you the fact that it's a stellar album that delves into the darker side of human mundanity, but not really in a metal way. For starters, it's too intentionally weird. Less horror and evil, more really bad acid trip. No monsters or psychopaths or demons, just standard people suck stuff...

Damn, how do you even begin to describe the awesomeness that is Enforcer?  Ok, I guess you start with a Mötley Crüe riff, play it 40bmp faster, then add some Iron Maiden style dueling leads, and have King Diamond sing a Judas Priest song on top of it. Yeah, just the best parts of Speed, Thrash, Glam, and NWOBHM all at the same time like you're actively trying to have a heart attack by the end of the album. Death By Fire, go check it out and rush over to bottlesmusic to buy my copy before someone else does.