Seether - *Disclaimer

South Africa has given us some amazing things. Die Antwoord, Charlize Theron, an alternate reality where Nelson Mandela died in prison and people's names are spelled differently, Leonardo DiCaprio's abysmal accent work, but they also gave us the musical venereal disease that is Seether. Seether, the international Nickelback.

*Disclaimer: You think i'm going to be biased. Obviously i hated it the first time around and i haven't listened to this album in decades, but i am always willing to be wrong. But, before we start i'll tell you that i have absolutely no problem with their 1 hit single "Fine Again." Perfectly lovely song. Sure, i may have enjoyed making fun of the final vocal cadence. Who didn't? Let's all listen to it with fresh ears.

We're going to ignore the fact that i put it in my computer, and my computer vomited it back out as seen in the photo. I have to put them in backward, and it actually happens a lot. Pure coincidence.

Not a coincidence, this thing was produced with 10 different potential faces on the cover, i got shaved head asian guy. They tell me there's an edited version, but i like swear words. Press play.

Whaaaaaat? Gasoline starts us off with what i assume is a gender reversed description of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez's (she was "the rapper" in TLC) arson trial. I mean, you're intentionally demeaning her so it seems appropriate that she hates you. I'm trying to conceptualize it, but you treat her like crap because she pretends to be a starlet, but she's actually horrible so it's totally normal? Everything about this song is gross.

How is the first lyric of a song called "69 Tea" (which by the way is stupid all by itself) about being in an insane asylum?!? Did you yahtzee all of the song titles or something? Well at least you don't care that you're lost. That's something.

Ok, we need to take a moment to talk about something i find absolutely unacceptable in pop music (which is what this is, it's not rock or metal, it's pop), and that is the word "pills." The word pills makes me think of that episode of Saved by the Bell, where Jesse was taking diet pills so she could study for the SATs. I am a discerning drugs in music listener and you better be specific. Speed, hypnotics, advil? And what does any of that have to do with oral sex, or caffeinated beverages?

Yeah, "Fine Again" is great. I could listen to this awesome song 25 times in a row and still function like a human being. It's right next to Finger 11's "Suffocate" on my broody 90s mental anguish mix-tape. Good job guys, thumbs up.

Speaking of Finger 11, that's a diarrhea bass line on Needles. And "needles" is some kind of metaphor, but since i can't figure out who or what the subject of the song is to begin with, it's just jibber-jabber. Is the needle singing the song, who is he hurting, how is he already dead?

Do you know that i'm lying when i say that i'm wondering if you know i'm lying about wondering if you've already killed someone? Oh, you're going to kill me now? Thanks "Driven Under," that helped.

I don't even have a joke about "Pride," it's just nonsense.

Is "Sympathetic" a song about the suicide note he's going to write? No really, is it? I seriously can't figure this nonsense out?

That's a goddamned Green Day joke! No, screw you guys. Next song.

Baaaarf! Guitars shouldn't sound like that. I can't do it. I literally pulled my headphones off and went for a smoke break.

Don't try to pass it off as a "lost in translation kind of thing." Half of Die Antwoord is in Afrikaans and i understand what they are trying to say. This is buzz-word WASPy parents listening though the bedroom door fake emo garbage.

7 albums? Are you kidding me? Are there no other South African alternative rock/metal bands? None? This is it? I hate Puddle of Mud, but i'd rather listen to them any day. At least they clearly don't take themselves seriously.

No stars. Hate it. And super thanks to Sarah Clark nee Mauer for suggesting this brief moment of delightful suffering!

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