Bottle returns, part 1 (Down on the Upside)


Ok, i've finished gluing all the pieces back together. Let's see if he holds water. Glug, glug, glug, glug. So far so good. Yes, i think he's ready. We'll just put the top back on. There. How do you feel, Bottle? 

With my fingertips. 

See, good as new. Should be fine as long as you keep him away from high heat. Anything else i can do for you Mr. GREGORY? 

NO. THAT IS ALL. THANK YOU MR. ROBIN. 

Sorry, i must have dozed off. Where's this bus headed? 

Do you remember what you were doing before you don't remember being here Bottle? 

First, who the hell are you? Second, why are you asking the right questions? Third, are we in the THX 1138 white room prison? 

Now Bottle, those are obviously rhetorical questions, and you asked them in the wrong order. 

No. Skullboy will back me up on this, i asked them in order of increasing importance to me. I don't respect authority, i'm super confused when people who aren't me have a firm grasp on implied reality, and i want to know if there's a beat down in my imminent future. Who? What? Where? Don't care why, just want to know what to expect. 

YES, DELIGHTFUL. YOU'VE DONE AN EXCEPTIONAL JOB. WE WON'T KEEP YOU ANY LONGER, MR. ROBIN. 

Mr. Robin? Mr. Robin?? You're Chriscrosstopher??? Hold on a moment. I'm in a white room with black curtains, Kenny Loggins playing in the background, and instead of just letting me blissfully shuffle off this mortal coil after whatever dumbass thing i did (i know me, it had to be spectacularly stupid), you had Criscrostopher Robin glue me back together? 

YOU AREN'T FINISHED. 

Finished with what? I was joking about the eternity part. Killing time until we got back to some enjoyable part of the infinite loop. 

NO, YOU WERE NOT JOKING. 

Ok fine, no i wasn't, but you could have let eternity end with an ellipsis. That hardly qualifies as cheating. 

NO. ARE YOU READY TO GO BACK NOW? THE OTHERS WILL BE GLAD TO SEE YOU. 

Hhhhhhhhhh. K. I still say you should have just let me die, but what do i know? Incidentally, what did i do? 

I believe you were trying to do everything at once, and spread yourself so thin that you collided with yourself going the opposite direction in an explosion that would make the team of scientists at CERN pee their pants. 

I COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT BETTER. 

Me neither. I can totally see me doing that. I don't remember what i was trying to do, but i've also wanted a few less brain cells, so win/win i guess. I may not like what you got me hanging from, but it's too bright out here in the outside world. Turn it back around, i mean lead the way Bones....

Part 2

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