4) Armageddon

 


4-4-4-6 

[Ring, ring, click] 

Sandra speaking, how may i assist? 

We took the liberty of starting without you. 

Pretty sure you know i know that, Bottle. You picked up The Motels first, and i figured you didn't need me there for that one. It's a tad "on the nose," as you like to say.

Pretty sure you know i know you did that, Sandra. Hurry up, i'm just about to light the indoor campfirehazard. 

...Several eventful moments later... 

Everybody here with all their facial hair? Good. We've had a few dress rehearsals for the next day of the rest of our lives, but today it's Sandra's turn. Everyone give her a round of applause, this is a big step. No, C-horse, not the slow clap, you jackass, a nice golf clap or even a coffee house finger snap is more appropriate. Our friend Sandra has decided to join us for this round of Adventure Time. Normally we'd be gentle on her, but she's dead set against that, so are there any questions about the first album by The Motels? 

[Dead silence] 

Ok, ok, i see we're all a little unsure about this. What's the problem guys? She's been here for every other adventure time, right? 

Well, yeah, but it's different, you know? Before she was Sandra, now she's like Sandra Sandra. 

That's the dumbest thing i've ever heard, Skip. Fine, i'll start. 

What the fuck is the deal with that Carole King song? Now i'll tell you. That sentiment was legitimately expressed to Carole by her babysitter. You're supposed to be as dumbfounded as Carole was at that moment. Works every time no matter who sings it, but it's got a special place on this album for sure. 

Skip, you're here 'cause i need a second opinion. Compy's here 'cause all this nonsense needs to be compiled into a coherent experience. Sandra's here to make sure i don't get too carried away and turn into a complete jerk. Bottle and the Beefettes, no album can escape unreviewed! This one's Story Time With Sandra, but it's sure to be an adventure. 

Jeez lady, how much did you spend? There's like somewhere between 6 and 8 albums here. Good thing we're about to be snowed in at the Stanley, am i right? 

Album number 2 is some seriously obscure stuff. Armageddon's only album, and self titled to boot. They were a brief British supergroup of recently defunct famous bands formed by Kieth Relf after The Yardbirds broke up. Kieth died after being electrocuted by his guitar while working for the follow up. You know that third prong we have on all our stuff now? Yeah, tube amps didn't have grounding back in the day, and electric guitars and microphones plugged into them could totally Lawnmower Man you into eternity. 

But my word this album is amazing. It's prog, but of the heavy metal persuasion. This is one of those hidden gem albums, only not super famous because they didn't tour. Dead frontman didn't help on that front either. Still, if you run across it out there in the wild, it's a keeper. As for what it says about our new old friend Sandra, you'll just have to wait it out with the rest of us (or read the lyrics, they're moderately insightful).

Part 5

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