Lower - Seek Warmer Climes

B: Aw, hey Lower. What's wrong, bud? Bronco bucked you in the dirt? 

L: We wanted to go to the party. The party in your bunker. 

B: Oh jeez, i'm sorry guy. But sometimes you can't always get what you want. 

L: But Willowz got to go. 

B: No, no, no, i just wasn't gatekeeping thoroughly enough. That's on me. Would you feel better if we did your album next? 

L: Are you gonna be nice? 

B: No promises. 

L: Then no. Leave us alone. 

B: Are you really just upset that Pitchfork skewered you? They qualified their panning of your album with nice word things. I read it, they said there were a lot of redeemimg qualities to your crappy debut album. Sure, they backhandedly implied it's not as good as your previous underground stuff because you changed up your style and almost barely qualify as Post Punk. I'll at least merely elbow you a little. And that's assuming i don't particularly enjoy it. You guys could be great for all i know. I'm honest here, i like mainstream poison. 10s are high maintenance, i'll take a 6.9 out for a game of skee ball any day. Plus, you said yourself it's all about personal growth. Turn that frown upside down like you're some kind of Mr. Potato Head (not literally). Unless you really are just a sniveling douchebag. If that's the case just tell me now and i'll spare your feelings. I'm not a complete monster. 

L: Ok, i guess. Was it a good concert? 

B: Opening act was a little too date rapey for my comfort zone, but yeah, the rest rocked, and you would have been a second sore thumb like a monodexterous carpenter who just won't admit defeat. Trust me, you have a completely different type of sarcasm going on, i did you a favor. You can read all about it over at bottleofbeef.com if you want.

L: Ok, then. Go ahead. 

B: My pleasure. 

Who's this "looms large" Dutch Punk band Iceage i've never heard of? Never mind, doesn't matter, we're really just trying to figure out if you are indeed the millenial approximation of my beloved Gen-X Post-Punk. 

What does Post-Punk even mean? Obviously it's the depression after the anger, but what makes it sound Post-Punk the way Indie Rock sounds Indie or Garage Rock sounds 2 beers too many? Well, i guess you could legitimately say it sounds like the middle of the evolution from Punk to Indie Rock. Prominent scowling bass grooves, punk attitude and energy, but mopier and avant-garderer. 

Damned if i can't find a reason to exclude them this time. This is genuine noisetastic Post-Punk from 2014 Denmark. Plus, it's on Matador because it sounds like it should be on Matador. 

Damn, dude, this is great. I got nothing. I though i was bizarro Stuart Smalley, but you tore that guy in the mirror a couple different new ass holes after sadly shaving your own head. 

I don't think you really need Adrian Toubro's autobiographical details about his time in Africa at all, this is much more effective as an abstract living self-help session. Confront those demons, cry if you need to (it's your pity party), don't try to look for a cheap fix from the plastic world that already made you hate yourself, that would be dumb. You won't be happier being someone else at all, be you you, whoever that turns out to be. Don't run away just because it's more comfortable. This is some serious deadpan sarcasm (the actual lyrics, not my synopsis of them), and i'm all about that bass, and those cellos. I hear 'em, and i appreciate. 

So yeah, good job, Lower. You've earned your place in the Post-Punk pantheon. You're an a-ok bunch of sad sacks after all.