4 & 5 - Brian Setzer v Rev. Horton Heat

We need to have a talk, Bottle.

Is it about last night's Christmas album? I had a rough day, so i was just letting off some steam. Don't be such a Sandra, Sandra. Nobody actually goes and listens the stuff i talk about. They read it, it's either immediately humorous or they just ignore it.

No, This Ain't No White Christmas is a completely egalitarian album for its time and cultural milieu. The women are definitely empowered, and the racial content isn't actually insulting in either direction. I can't help it if some people are prudes. I'm actually referring to an argument between Skip and Myself. He's adamant that Reverend Horton Heat's Christmas album is better than Brian Setzer's Christmas album, and i had my hand on the straight razor i carry in my purse before i realized how inappropriate that was. Please settle this issue out of court, if you see what i'm saying.

I'm guessing you don't want to know i like Reverend Horton Heat better in all contexts.

No, i don't want to know that at all.

Kaaaay. Will you accept my final judgement on this issue if i put on my objective hat and make silly comparisons like i did for the Bangels and GoGos?

Yes.

Are you lying?

No comment.

That's my line. Put those eyebrows back in their holsters, i haven't heard either of them. It will be as fair as any other comparison i've made. Deal?

Ok, but no tricks. I'll accept losing if it's legit, but you know i'll know if it isn't, and Gladys is back to back me up.

Yes ma'am. Please allow me to fire up the youtubulator. I have Dig That Crazy Christmas but i don't have a copy of We Three Kings...

I'm Doug Llewellyn, and this is the Bottler's Court. He's no Wapner, but he is as fair as they come. Today's case involves a sort of domestic disagreement between Sandra D. and Marvin Gardens, more commonly know by his stripper name, Skip. Mz. D (sic) contends that Brian Setzer Orchestra's second Christmas album is better than Reverend Horton Heat's Chistmas album from the same year, 2005. Both litigant's have agreed to submit to Bottle's advisement and are forgoing their right to plead their own cases. A straight third party adjudication.

Let's now join Bottle halfway through listening to Rev. Horton Heat's We Three Kings. He doesn't know the mic is on, so take a listen to his true inner monologue:

Jesus christ (no pun intended) she's gonna slice an ear off, if not something more sensitive. This thing is just amazing. Catpiss McPompadour better not be fooling around...

...Ahem, well that's probably enough eavesdropping for now. Sit tight folks, we're ready and waiting for Bottle's verdict, and we'll be as surprised as you. In the meantime, you're more than welcome to hear Skip's preference for yourself:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_nfdpbrBFkdJ7zP0NgSwnf6M22pGrKI7Wc

Ah! The chamber doors have opened, and Bottle emerges to ascend the dais. All rise!

No, no, don't get up. This is more like Night Court than anything. Skip is probably Markie Post, and Sandra and Gladys together equal Marsha Warfield. Actually i'm probably more Marsha than Harry, but that's not the point. We're here to compare Big Band Swing to Psychobilly, or something. 

If i understand it right, Skip isn't particularly impressed with Setzer's schtick, but Sandra's a stickler for schtick, it's her schtick. We all know i'm inclined to side with the good Reverend, but i've been politely asked to stay impartial. 

So, let's go about this logically. What are they both doing that's equal? Well, they're both playing Rockabilly guitar, and they are every bit equal on that score. Next, it's Christmas music, and they both play it straight. No tricks or parody, these are legitimate adaptations. Rev chooses to go completely traditional and let the music be as experimental and off the wall as possible. Setzer has some more interesting selections and some originals. Showmanship, rather than surprise is his goal. Last, we all expect Setzer to be smoother, less raspy, and have a horn section. You might like the stripped back trio better, or you might love the horns so much you just can't do without them. All of that makes choosing one pretty impossible.

Unwad your panties everyone, these are both legitimately good albums. The concept is Christmas songs, but neither group compromises what they do just because these are Christmas songs. Both albums are legit parts of their respective discographies, unlike some Jethros i've tulled you about (no, you're right to cringe at that one), and i could not jokingly listen to either any day of the year.

Final verdict, it's a real tie. You can like one better than the other, but you can't claim the other is less in some way. Be honest, if i Faro shuffled all the songs, you might not even notice except for Setzer's horn section. Case closed.

Doug here again. Well, there you have it, both albums are actually good. Not just for Christmas albums, but as albums themselves. Who could have predicted it? Let's get a word with Sandra and Skip. How do you feel about Bottle's decision?

To be honest, i hadn't actually listened to the Setzer one, i was just trying to get Sandra riled up. Sorry if i offended.

No, I'm the one who should apologize, i overreacted. Bottle's right, the two are trying to do opposite things and they both succeeded in their own ways. My preference probably has less to do with the music than i care to admit in public at the moment. Care to join me for an adult beverage while we alternatingly listen to both of them?

Skip and Sandra sitting in a tree...

SHUT UP, BOTTLE!

Filmed at the Barristers of Beef Ballroom in balmy Bethesda, all judgements and appearance fees paid for by the H. R. Trustandstuff Fund for the Temporarily Insane. I'm Doug Llewellyn wishing you a good night and some form of tomorrow.