Are they? Are they really?

So you're saying Conservatives are optimists and Liberals are pessimists?

Almost. Conservatism most definitely correlates to optimism, philosophical optimism that is, but i'm not happy with the opposition between conservative and liberal. Conservative and Progressive are the real opposition in my mind. Pessimism/optimism equals progressive/conservative. 

So, if i understand you right, John Denver's optimism is irritating because that kind of thinking actually pulls society apart?

Oh, you were so close to a Chavelle quote there, Skip. Let's give spastic children drugs so they can concentrate on the things we think are important, and save a lot of money on playground equipment in the process. Drugs are cheap by comparison, and isn't that why we manufacture drugs in the first place? They work great. That type of thinking could do us in. It might alleviate your symptoms of being a complete stick in the mud, but it certainly doesn't solve the underlying problem. Medicine doesn't cure anything, it just eases the symptoms. Unless the kid says "dependance schmopendance, i'm objectively way better off being high 24/7." If that's the case, then i don't really have an argument. Unlikely, but plausible.

Ok, so what about this album?

Ew. Where did you find that thing? 

In the stack. 

You mean the stack i just wasn't going to listen to at all?

I dunno, there aren't any signs or anything. You said Kenny Rogers was fine.

No, i said early Kenny Rogers out of context was moderately agreeable from a philosophical perspective. This is late 70s/80s Kenny Rogers, showtune country without any of that pesky "rock" to get in the way, the famous Kenny Rogers, and i think you'll notice that 99.95% of this garbage wasn't written by any form of Kenny Rogers. Show me a bar with a pretty woman... women are awesome, but i can't figure out why they keep leaving me... i didn't start that crazy asian war, and i realize that i got my legs blown off in 'Nam, but that's no reason to cheat on me, i'd shoot her if my house was wheelchair amenable. And, we won't even go near all the things that are wrong with the atrocity of the song called Scarlett Fever. This is Prism's Small Change without the redeeming irony of not actually being Prism. 

The one redeeming quality is that he does occasionally reverse the gender roles, but mostly it's "mopey time with grisly-man, sufferer of the wiley winsome woman." I guess you could list his singing voice as a redeeming quality, but The Gambler is really his only good hit. "Horny middle-aged faux cowboy" is not a good album concept. The lonely couple songs about race relations and toxic masculinity don't change the fact that this album mostly villifies women, and that makes my insides try to get outside for some fresh air. 

This isn't pessimism, it's misogyny, though not specifically Kenny's. Burning Something came from the perspective that he longed for a life he couldn't fully participate in, but these "greatest hits" are the exact opposite: love would be fantastic if it weren't for all these imperfect, heart breakers i keep falling for when i'm out on the prowl.

Where's the trash can, Skip? I don't think i'm gonna make it on my own, or with help. I don't need you barf bucket, but just let me use you until i can hold down something more substantial than a piece of buttered toast. Oh no, this version of Something's Burning is absolutely atrocious. Bring back the First Edition, and never do that glottal stop garbage ever again. At least the theme from Six Pack is coming from the right direction, 'cause Kenny actually participated in writing it. Maybe i can hold my dinner down after all, but man that was a close one. How's 'bout you never pick a Kenny Rogers album again, guys? I'm gonna have to chase that one down with Throbbing Gristle or something.