Bottle gets meta


Here's a little story about how my subconscious works:

Alright, which one of you hooligans did it?

Did what?

Put Donna Summer on top of the stack.

No one. We haven't touched 'em since Skip's little Kenny Rogers fiasco. Honest.

But, it's too much. It can't be coincidence. 

What are you talking about, Bottle? You reviewed that album back before any of us got involved. Pinkie swears all around, we aren't playing a game here.

See! You're doing it right now. The whole album is pink.

No, we aren't doing anything!

Look, i ran out of ideas for what to do next, so i did what i always do, and went back to p(nmi)t's brain farts and Spirit to recalibrate. Had a nice conversation with some lady while she waited for a bus, then wandered the streets for a while with no particular destination in mind. Now here i am finally picking up what i thought would be a random album, and it turns out to be the very first Geffen album from the year of Mrs. Bottle's birth on her actual birthday, The Wanderer, full of songs about running off in search of adventure, but equally pointing out that your view of reality is all in your head and running back home. Wannabes getting a taste of ego steroids, big shots overreaching and losing. Even her story about Jesus and the plebes storming the gates of Heaven is relevant. You can't tell me it's random. It can't be random. One of you did it, i just don't know which one. But, judging from the faces on your faces (damnit! Even that's in here, too), i guess we'll never know. Fine. Whatever. It's hard to stay mad with this album playing in the background. Dance pop meets New Wave. Delicious. Oh well, we're all just spinning around and around anyway. Onward, space cadets. Grrr, even that's on this album! I can't find an original thought in my head for anything!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 4 Seasons - The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette

Image
This might be my longest  album review ever. But i swear a couple times, so it's worth the read ;) How could i possibly mention Jefferson Airplane, The 4 Seasons, and Frank Zappa in the same context? Zappa said "this is rediculous" and a few years later The 4 Seasons said "you know what, Frank is right. This IS ridiculous." To which Jefferson Airplane said, "Oh. Ok. Got it." The real question is: which one is the most transgressive? Zappa said stop fighting, you look like idiots. Jefferson Airplane said i guess if love and community is a bad thing, then sure we're criminals and we'd be happy to move out into the fields and live peaceful lives without your garbage, let us go already. The 4 Seasons said hold my champagne for a moment. In 1969, The 4 Seasons released the single most ironic, acidic, extravagant, and downright befuddling album ever created, The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette. Zappa was accused of writing "shitty doo-w
Read more

Welcome to my blog, and my record collection.

This is a blog about my love of listening to albums. It started off as a nightly perusal of my dad's record collection (which sadly became mine) on my personal facebook page. Over the last two months it has become quite an enjoyable process of simply ranting about what i think is a real art form, the album. It needs a more permanent home. Some of my reviews are positive, some negative. They might not be what you expect from album reviews, but i hope you at least find them entertaining. For the most part i do very little research, and they tend to be train of thought reactions rather than calculated essays. If nothing else, know that i'm really listening to them and whether they are amazing or abysmal i want you to go listen to them too.  I'll start migrating the 60+ i've written so far over here in the next few days, and hopefully get to the point where i just start writing them here. I'd probably even take suggestions if you're just dying to know my tho
Read more

Pat Benatar - Seven The Hard Way

Image
I don't know about you, but i love Pat Benatar. Yes, that's also her debut album with the single most underrated song in the universe (My Clone Sleeps Alone) in the background, but that's just a generic non-self-titled debut album. We're jumping ahead to her 6th album, Seven The Hard Way, because that, ladies and gentle germs, is how you kalaidescope a concept. Not one, not two, not three, but 4 protien-packed layers to this metaphor. You don't really need to know the overly complicated rules of Craps to know that A) it's gambling, B) "the hard way" refers to rolling doubles, so good luck rolling two 3.5s, and C) you're going to lose, one way or another. It's a joke, but more importantly, it's Pat Benatar and the roll out is Sex As A Weapon, so the innuendo is not intended to be subtle. Wait wait wait, that's only 3, Bottle, where's 4? You're right, last but not least, side B opens with Seven Rooms of Gloom, a Holland-Dozier-Hol
Read more