Elvis Costello and the Attractions - Imperial Bedroom


B: Gentiles and ladymen, a toast.

E: A toast to what?

S: What are you talking about?

G: I LIKE TOAST, WITH APPLE BUTTER, IF AVAILABLE.

B: We made a book. We made it real. Well, we set it in motion, it should corporealize in a week or so, then hitch a ride with the ghost of John Candy to our humble abode. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, possibly even Home Alone if you a) don't fail to recognize WHY the cameo makes sense like everyone else, and b) don't realize that John Candy received a whopping $414 (no millions attached, just that sad little 3-digit number) for traveling to the set, ad-libbing the entire day, and then traveling home while losing money. Cab fare in Chicago is 3.25/2.25/.25, and his agent probably took $150.

S: Seriously? 

B: Which part? Doesn't matter, yes.

E: ...but, but ... nobody exploded ... no flames shot out of things that shouldn't normally catch fire ... Carl isn't screaming from the other end of the hallway...

B: So? Why did you think they would?

E: Because that's normal here. Every other day something goes completely haywire. This place is one catastrophe after another, nothing goes as planned, it's...it's...a...

B: a madhouse? Oh, yeah, totally. You get what you pay for.

E: What?

B: I paid some nice people in Ingram, California to make a few copies of our book and send them to us. We might convince a few of our not-so-imaginary friends to buy one or two, but i'm the one who wanted them.

E: You can do that?

B: Of course you can do that. Well, i mean it's a bad idea if you don't have any money, but if you do have enough money to pay for it, then pay for it. All the bad stuff happens because you're trying to not actually pay for it. Have you learned nothing, Skip? Compy, what's my damage?

C: $142 and change for 14 copies after shipping. That's 10 something a book. It's a $16.95 book in 1990s money, getting a single copy here in under 2 weeks would cost like $35, so it is what it is. Choosers can't be beggars.

B: Oh, Compy, magnifique on the word play. I (of course) want to postpone the real number analysis until i can take a picture of the actual book in my actual hand, we're playing Entreprenuer The Bored Game after all, but i think we can all agree that these are not at all price-gouging numbers. Real life is expensive.

S: Sorry for ignoring the template and making it take an extra day.

B: I'm not mad, i don't care. So, back to my toast. To all the things we can do if we tounge-in-cheekedly infringe on Nike's trademark and just do them. Like tonight's album. I just so happen to own a copy of Imperial Bedroom by Elvis Costello and the Attractions on vinyl, and we published a book. I certainly don't need to prove how awesome either of those things are. Cheers.

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