Tool - Opiate


How in the world do you talk about Tool without mentioning bodily fluids, felonious inhumanity, sexual depravity, the more wackadoodle parts of Melchizadek's extension of Jungian Philosophy? You don't. You just accept that Tool is a giant wrench shaped like a dick, and fix the part of the plumbing of your house you broke last night. In my particular case it's the drain line for the kitchen sink/dishwasher.




I was going to replace those 45s with a proper long sweep 90, but we didn't have any at work, so 45 + street 45 it is. You'll also need primer and glue, and a hacksaw (not pictured). 

Luckily, there's only 1 piece i need to actually measure, so i can cut and dry fit everything before i climb up on the washer and drier to dry fit everything in place. 



Tool's first album is the Opiate EP. It's not really offensive at all, unless you're a hypocritical abuser. They all met through the standard mutual friends who would also become famous route. These are the heaviest songs they had at the time, but they were already playing a bunch of songs they saved for their first proper album, Undertow. 


So, the secret to not messing up is to dry fit everything in place, and mark the fittings and pipe so that you don't glue something backward on accident. Just build what you are replacing and save the new parts for when you get it up there. 

Like i said, mark all your fittings. You don't wanna climb up your appliances only to find out you squirreled the gluing and have to buy an entire second round of fittings tomorrow. Sure, they're cheap, but you might not be allowed to live another day without a functional kitchen sink/dishwasher. 



Don't be a doof, prime and glue both parts. Twist fittings into place to ensure there's no air gaps in the glue. Plenty of time with medium set glue, but you only get one chance at it; do it right, or throw it in the dumpster and start over. Give each joint a minute or so to set before the next one... and violas (possibly an imaginary trumpet fanfare if you're needy) you're mostly done. Let it sit for 15 minutes. 


Eventually, you'll get it all put back together. Sure, there will be some swear words involved, and the fumes from the primer will Mortal Kombat any little nicks or abrasions in your fingers from working in Sub-Zero temperatures over the last week, and even though you're wearing your mask, you will get fiberglass threads in your throat when you take it off and cough like a TB fit, but eventually you'll get your lightly alcoholed fizzy cola syrup and sit down to a rousing 27 minutes of Maynard singing about nightmares, censorship, self loathing, hypocrisy, and the sheer horribleness we put each other through because we're terrible.

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