Bottle's punishment for a thing he said somewhere else

B: Alright, Sandra, what's the punishment for my semi-secret crimes again Misogynist 'Merica?

S: well, there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that you can follow it up with any album you like, but the bad news is that you have to listen to one of the 4th of July appropriate albums in your collection first.

B: aw man! There's only 3 of 'em, and 2/3 of those feature the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

S: i can shuffle them if it will help.

B: nah, i'll just cut the bullet into bite-sized pieces and listen to Lee Greenwood's Greatest Hits.


S: really? I mean, it's your choice. Seems a little harsh to me.

B: i think i'll be ok. I'll wash it down with The Best of the Righteous Brothers. I'll be fine.

S: ok, good luck. For what it's worth, i'm quite delighted by your essay on a personal level.

B: thanks. That means a lot. Welp, time to listen to Dudeguy McGuilttrip try to win back his woman by fake apologizing for repeatedly being a douchebag even though he knows she deserves better, and end with God Bless the USA. I don't know about you guys, but i'd certainly dump him. At least i get to follow it up with a more authentic depiction of heartache. 

Is Lee Greenwood really that bad? No, of course not. He's quite an enjoyable singer singing other people's schlock. Actually i love Ain't No Trick, that could totally be a Huey lewis and the News song. I don't like his image or most of his content. I don't like Country. I don't think like that, i don't have those sentiments in that direction, it's the opposite of me, i just can't feel sorry for you if you know you're being a jerk and keep doing it anyway. If you know you're being a dirt-bag, then just do the opposite. "Oh no! I never thought this autonomous human being would get mad enough at the shitty way i treat her to actually leave. Woe is me." Baaaarf!

I don't have any real criticism for his biggest hit. It's patriotic drivel, but that's not a criticism. It's supposed to be patriotic drivel. That's its purpose. In context it's a perfectly lovely "thank you for your service and sacrifice" song. Any other random Tuesday, it's unnecessary and annoying. Lost my job, my house, my wife, my dog, and my car keys, but at least i'm innocent until proven guilty in a court of law and i don't have to cook dinner for the other team's army. Annoying.


Now, in contrast, we'll look at the other type of righteous. The informal one that's synonymous with "awesome." The term "Blue-Eyed Soul" was specifically invented to describe the Righteous Brothers at a time when even radio was segregated. I think we can all agree the Righteous Brothers are freakin' awesome regardless. Hilarious that their two biggest hits aren't on it, but they don't need to be. So good. Now i wanna pull out the best of Sam Cooke again. Ok with you, Sandra?

S: sentence served, suit yourself.

B: Yippee!


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