Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra

So freakin' many subgenres here on Bottle's Beeflieve It, Or Not. Hard Rock, Soft Rock, Yacht Rock, Not Rock, we may or may not stop, drop, and roll, we might zoom into the Bronze Age and decapitate our enemies, we might stop throwing pieces of land at each other and focus our attention on the Soul, or let our hair down and get Funky, but we so rarely get just plain old vanilla flavored Rock. Real Vanilla is an orchid, by the way, and unless you've got a super special moth farm on the side, you got to hand pollinate those bad boys. Then there's the sun drying and the hoping it doesn't rain. Labor intensive stuff for the most scientifically complicated flavor we call "plain."

So, tonight it's just Rock. The kind of Rock that's so classic we needlessly invented a qualifier for it. Classic Rock. What's Classic Rock? Journey? Nope. Foreigner? Nope again. Bottle's taxonomy is very clear on the subject, let's take a peek.

Classic Rock: Things that sound like whatever Steve Miller was doing at the time.

Wowzers, that's concise for anyone, let alone me. It's true, though. Complicated people will tell you it's a radio developed genre, but of the most popular AOR songs of the 80s. Yeah, like i said, Steve Miller. Essentialists will say bass drum on 1 & 3, snare on 2 & 4 and the minor pentatonic scale. That's going too far. I'll give you minor pentatonic, but drummers can do other stuff in any genre. Dave Grohl says he was really just playing Disco beats slow with sledge hammers in Nirvana.

Pretty sure i called Steve Miller the nicest Rock Star to ever walk the planet, and even a casual listen to 1982's Abracadabra will prove it. I ragged on Des'ree for saying love could cure homelessness, yes she really did imply that, and here's Steve telling us love is pretty magical. Not in a creepy way at all. Love is what he wants, what motivates him, what keeps him plugging along. All he really wants is for you to tell him you appreciate his company and effort. You don't have to be a freak, or a nymphomaniac, you just have to remind him that you love and care about him when the occasion warrants. What a delightful album. You could try to find some smarmy subtext, but i think we both know you're grasping for straws. Dude is just plain, old fashioned nice. I dare you to try to not like it. Double dog dare you with hot fudge and whatever kind of nuts or legumes you aren't allergic to.