Gentle Giant - Three Friends and Free Hand

B: here we are at the proper rum and coking hour. I've fully shaved for the second time in as many decades, refreshments are fuzzily fizzing, flip a coin what shall we talk about? Heads we Gentle Giant, tails we Lightning. We're gonna do both, we just have to decide which one first. Compy, would you like to do the honors? 

C: well, seeing as you're 3 for 3 while Skip and Sandra have a combined total of zero, why don't we just lob the whiffle ball first so they don't feel so completely lost when it comes to judging by covers? 

B: ok, here's Three Friends by Gentle Giant. Everybody altogether, 3, 2, 1... 

EBS&C: English Prog! 

B: feel better? 

S: ok, yes. At first i thought you were being patronizing, but i take it back. Those first 3 were just really hard. This one is obvious. 

E: but why though? It's almost like the first 3 were bad on purpose. 

B: that's because they were. Detective was trying really hard to pick up extra sales by looking flashy. Whether it's true or not, Sheriff was clearly poking fun. The original CBC cover for FM was just a manhole cover and a limited run of 750, so they had to scrounge something quick for their own subsequent repressings. This, though, this is the real deal Holyfield. Gentle Giant might be obscure for us and the mainstream, but gatefold and proper artwork says these guys are in it to win it with big label backing. The best part is we don't even have to guess. This is the story of three school chums who grew up to live completely different lives, says so right on it like it's a Jethro Tull album. No surprises here, they want you to know exactly what you're gonna get by saying "this is serious Prog, do not mistake this for Pop Rock." I'm super excited... 

... whooooooaaaah. That was just the Prologue. There's the whole rest of the album still to go. Bridbrad! Imma need you to take over, this is gonna take all of our collective attention. We might not get to the last album tonight after all. 

Bottle and his three friends sat mesmerized at the tale of the Gentle Giant and his three friends. All 4 sat motionless, mouths agape, and when it was finished they blinked a few times and all stared at Bottle. He wrinkled his brow, he swallowed the drool that had collected inside his mouth, and with only the briefest of hesitations and the visible astonishment usually reserved for stumbling across the bones of Mr. Chester Copperpot, flipped it back over and started the whole crazy adventure from the top. 

Or at least that's how the story would have gone if Bottle hadn't been startled to find himself the victim of the dreaded wrong disk in the jacket switcheroo of doom. There's hope though, it is at least a Gentle Giant album, not a K-tel ding dong ditch bag full of dog turds. Gimme a minute, i'll see if i can turn this ship around. 

BB: Bottle! Bottle! Get ahold of yourself! 

B: no. No! You see this one? This one right here? This was my dream, my wish, and it didn't come true! So i'm taking it back. I'm taking 'em all back! 

BB: shut up, Mouth! Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go back in there, and you're gonna tell everybody the truth. You already listened to Three Friends on youtube while out feeding the dogs and starting this story, only found out when you came back in to finish writing it while listening to it a second time on vinyl, so you just say "well poop, i guess we'll listen to Free Hand instead." 

B: but... 

BB: no buts, no cuts, no coconuts, did i stutter? 

B: no, you enunciated quite clearly. I guess one Gentle Giant is probably as good as another. Still crummy, but i didn't bother to verify and that's my own fault... 

Alright everybody, slight change of plans. I have the jacket for Three Friends with Free Hand inside. Every reason to believe it'll be just as awesome, so let's just give it a spin. 

Yeah, i can't stay mad, this is phenomenal. The wackiest of synths, crazy meter changes, a vocal fugue for track 2, veer off the trail into a medieval motet whenever you feel like it. I'm not joking when i say side a encompasses in 20 minutes what it took Flight of the Conchords an entire career to achieve, but not in any way as a joke. I didn't get the actual album i was buying, but i gained the desperate need to hear everything Gentle Giant ever put out, so that's an acceptable consolation prize i guess. 

The two albums i've heard by Gentle Giant are phenomenal, crazy good in every respect. Definitely check them out, but watch out for the octopus. He's vewy scawy.