Mastodon - Blood Mountain


Mastodon is probably going to release new music this Friday, what better time to break out the last one in my collection, Blood Mountain, the Earth one. I really should find copies of the 3 albums i don't have. Anywho, story time about the wacky adventures of climbing a mountain in Georgia to put a crystal skull on top so you can kill the reptilian part of your brain and ascend to a new level of human consciousness. 

I love Mastodon because the concepts for their albums are like Jeopardy answers for "Things Marijuana Might Say." Then they actually go do it, and the only possible response is "that could have turned out really stupid, but somehow it didn't. Great job guys." Really, you say it out loud and it's laugh out loud ridiculous, but then you pop in the CD and it's like Homer drooling and saying "doughnuts." 

Kay, we got a hero. He's looking for a crystal skull. Hello, mountain, you sound a lot like what the next album is going to sound like, guess i'm supposed to climb you now. If i know our hero, he's got moxy, all heart no quit. Oh crap, i was not expecting all these one-eyed sasquatch things. No talky-talk, i gots some sword fighting to do. Whew, glad that's overHOLY HELL THE TREES ARE ALIVE, I TAKE IT BACK I DON'T NEED ENLIGHTENMENT! Run away! No seriously, it's a freakin' sharknado! Maybe eating those berries was a bad idea, 'cause now i'm in the trees and that Huntress lady is probably gonna chop my head off. No, wait now i'm like in on the tundra and an avalanche is going to bury me. Oh, wait, still got the skull, i must still be high from those berries. Wait, did i win? No, i think i really am actually running away. No next step of evolution for us humans, i guess. 

Yep, that's Blood Mountain, Josh Homme does the chorus for Colony of Birchmen, Scott Kelly sings something on every album, so he's not worth mentioning. There are some not great parts, like the talking, but they do something cool right after and this album so all over the place that it doesn't really matter anyway. 

I know people like to call it Prog-Sludge, but c'mon can't we all just call it Prog-Metal and be happy? The best part of Mastodon is that you never feel like they're doing it just for the sake of the theatrics, nothing is every a gimmick, it all just rocks in various and head-bobbingly enjoyable ways. Sure, sometimes it sounds like Troy and Brent are singing two completely different songs at the same time, but that's part of the charm, if you ask me. Like Supertramp and Steppenwolf and Nirvana, i can't help the fact that i adore every second of it, even the least sensical parts. Give us the new album, already!

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