Get The Knack

Do The Knack hate women the way critics mansplain how much they like this album in spite of its misogyny? That's an interesting question. I don't remember My Sharona being that bad, Good Girls Don't is a little more iffy, ooh the track list is not doing you guys any favors, is it? No reason not to listen to it, though, so here we go. 

- Let me out of this relationship. 

- lamenting his inability to hit on passing strangers? 

- oh Tara, you're totally right to be terrified. 

- how selfish is she? This song is refreshingly vulgar, but not in an appropriate way. 

- i know why, you're a douche bag. 

- good girls don't. No, of course not, and you're a grade a jerk for pretending she was winkingly saying "but i do." She didn't. 

Whoo-ee that's a Side A. 

- My Sharona isn't quite so bad because he's actually singing it to her. He's literally telling her she's driving him crazy, and that's totally fine, she's an active participant in this song for a change. 

- this isn't bad either, she kissed him. Totally normal not psychopathic psychology at all. 2 for 8. 

- wowzers, another vulgar one. Very little actually offends me, but Siamese Twins probably has a dedicated FCC fine or a mandatory minimum sentence or something. You definitely couldn't play this on the radio, even at 1:42 am on a Thursday morning. 

- i have a hard time believing Lucinda is as bad a heart breaker as you're implying. Your track record with women is more sketchy than sidewalk chalk drawings in front of a day care. 

- little girls should not be doing anything to you, you're a grown up college drop out creeping on high schoolers. She'll break your ego then your heart? In that order? You sure about that? 

- frustrated? This album is like the soundtrack on eternal repeat in a date-rapist's camero. My brain needs a shower like Ace Ventura after finding out Einhorn is Finkel. That's probably offensive too, but it's Ace Ventura's homophobic overreaction that's the funny part. 

Ok, now that that's over, you know how in all those 80s John Hughes movies the girls like the jerks and ignore their awkward platonic male friends? The Knack are simultaneously both of those stereotypes at the same time, only the platonic friend is just a shy version of the date-rapey frat guys. So exactly like the subtext of a John Hughes movie. 

I get what the critics are saying, though. This is a really great album to listen to. If you replaced all the lyrics with anything else, a Cracker Barrel menu, the text of a missing dog photo, even most bathroom graffiti is less offensive than these actual lyrics, then yeah it would be amazing. 

The two hit singles and Heartbeat are fine. Like i said, describing how what she actually does makes you feel is totally acceptable, even if it's not exactly polite conversation. However, half these songs are you making up things she definitely didn't do or say, and at least two of them are you just elaborately calling her a bitch for not putting out IN YOUR OWN IMAGINATION! Absolutely horrible. Get The Knack sounds more like contracting an STD than something i ever want to do again. 

That said, damnit it's catchy and fun. If you can listen to it with a skewed sense of humor then it's not so jarring, but at face value it's a bit much. So is their almost farcical overnight success. Nobody wanted their demos, period. They however kept playing shows and developed a huge sellout following on the club curcuit. When they finally did get it released it went Gold in 2 weeks and Platinum in a couple months. Faster than even Beatles albums at the height of their popularity. Everybody was a bit critical of them, but they don't suck. The mentality most of their lyrics come from is horrible, but we're gonna listen to Keith Moon's debacle of a solo album tomorrow, so adjust your perspectives accordingly.