Geargasm with GREGORY - Tonor


Today on Geargasm with GREGORY, we take a look at this thing from a box of many things that meandered it's way from the person who didn't want it to me, Bottle. It's a Tonor USB microphone. The model is really hard to read considering they didn't print it on the unit, but it was made in China and i think that picture means you shouldn't put it in a landfill or the fish might get cancer. That was uncalled for, i apologize. GREGORY, first impressions?

IT HAS NO BUTTONS, NO MIC JACK, THE USB CABLE IS HARD WIRED, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO USE IT?

You plug it into the rectangle hole and make noise at it. Anything?

NO. SILENT AS A TOMB.

Kay, what if i change these random settings?

NO. STILL NOTHING.

Alright... tweak this... reset that... turn every device volume way up...try saying something now.

SOMETHING.

Yep, now i'm deaf. Good news it works. Bad news, that's frightening because the JACK server can't detect it as a device at all. I don't necessarily mind having to record in Audacity, but it's not my first choice. Ardour can probably pick it up if i tweak all those settings too. Easy peasy, plug and play with a whole bunch of configuration changes in the middle, couldn't be simpler to not explain how complicated it was. Thoughts?

THERE'S A FAIR AMOUNT OF WHITE NOISE.

Well, yeah, that's to be expected. 1) it's super cheap, 2) i got that white noise generator sucking all the radon out of the ground around us, and John Ritter) i have the volume cranked up beyond Spinal Tap levels of madness. One more tweakathon.

THAT SEEMS BETTER.

Any squeal?

NO. 

Big boomy thumps if you touch it?

YES.

Any weird EQ things?

NO. THAT IS HOW MY VOICE SOUNDS.

Great! More thoughts?

WELL, IT IS UNDENIABLY CHEAP, BUT IT DOES NOT FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO BREAK IT. IT DOES WORK AND I DON'T HEAR ANY OF THE GARGLING SOUNDS YOU GET FROM EXTREMELY LOW FIDELITY.

Plus it's blue, that's fun.

INDEED. PROBABLY NOT THE MOST PROFESSIONAL OPTION, BUT MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH FOR MOST THINGS.

You do realize this is me, right? Now, if it stops working in two weeks i'll call it crap, but i'll use SM57s as vocal mics unless you give me a really good reason not to. 

WELL, IN THAT CASE, I SUPPOSE I HAVE TO SAY IT'S LOVELY, WHATEVER IT IS.

Okay, then. Free mics taste about as delicious as free food. Maybe we should do a podcast. 

NO, BUT THANK YOU. 

Ok, suit yourself. Welp, there you have it. If you're looking for a talk receptical because the minions wanted their's back and someone hands you one of these blue things with Tonor printed on it, you're in luck because they'll get some sort of job done just fine. I'm assuming they aren't ridiculously expensive. Cheers.

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