Billie Eilish

Speaking of electro-pop and only trying to impress yourself, here's Billie Eilish and her brother Ferb. Oops, sorry, Finneas, her brother Finneas. This album plays by a different set of rules: 1) Don't Smile At Me, and conversely don't tell me i look prettier when i smile, it's condescending. 2) this is a bedroom EP, so the only valid question is if they did a good job or not. 3) what happens when they make the switch to major label LPs? We can't answer that question unless we listen to 'em, so i bought 'em and we'll do that next. 

First though, hey Compy, what did i say about Ms. Bad Guy? Oh, crud, right, i used up all the brain power trying to collapse the Left/Right, he said/she said into a single bottle and all the minion cells went kapoof. Fine, i guess i'll do it myself. 

"Musical Xanax ... I like Lorde and Eilish, but you have to admit they are $500 worth of amphetamines away from exciting." 

Wowzers, that's harsh. I like them, though, so that's something. Are Billie Eilish and Tyler Joseph the same frontman? I mean, they're both fragile and play ukulele... no, you're right, they're different. They both tie into the fascinating Ukulele renaissance of the last few years (i doubt there was an actual board meeting, i think the retreat to ultra-portable nylon-string self-accompaniment instruments is a completely understandable reaction to the last 6 years). 

So, we're listening to this EP like it's sitting on the corner of the desk with a post-it note on it that says "check this out and see if there's potential." Are we gonna invest millions over the next 5 years on this artist? Will it go somewhere, or is this as good as it's likely to get? You could try to pull the "rich actor parents" card, but the O'Connell's weren't bringing in international distribution money with bit parts as working actors moonlighting as construction workers slash other things that pay money called "jobs." Her success was as organic as it gets for California. Acess to money is a privilege, sure, but it's still other peoples' money in the beginning. 

First off, the beats on this thing are heavy dirty fire. EQ like a tinny answering machine message for the answering machine message, then morph to normal for the chorus. If nothing else, we've got a real producer here. 

Yeah, this will sell. I don't know where exactly, Australia and Mexico and anywhere people still like to dance, but it'll do something. What do we have to build on? Well, there's the bad girl thing, and her breathy voice is actually nice, and she can sing, so yeah just push the whole thing everywhere. 

Now, do i like it? Oh yeah, this is great, but if i hadn't blasted Sandra halfway across the universe we'd be preemptively triaging the truly disgusting leering over a teenage girl that's about to happen in her future. Meh, it's not like that's a new problem, so whatever, just warn her and send her out on tour, it'll be as fine as it can be. If that goes well, do a full album or two. I don't think we'll have to do much work at all; Bottle approved, business meeting adjourned. 

Now onto the liking it. This is an immensely enjoyable EP: it's believable, it flows, nothing is dumb. No one should have to pretend to be sunshine and daffodils if they don't feel that way. Scaled and Icy was different, it was a conscious decision on their part, not forced upon them because they are being objectified. That's a distinction we as a society need to get through our thick skulls pronto. You do you, you don't force other people to do you for you. 

We need, if not a proper future, at least some assurance that there is a person who will actually cut the crap and just do the thing, whatever the thing is. All i've seen in the last week is people criticizing a nominee for the Supreme Court. Quite a few of those people are garbage senators who should have been voted out of office years ago. I guarantee the answer to every question they asked is written on a post it note on their desk by an intern, they just want to look like they're putting up a fight for the importance of doing nothing. If my calling the people who love calling everyone commies commies wasn't clear enough, maybe i'll just revert to "who cares?" You're watching the senate chase its own tail and criticizing the tail for being a tail. 

You're listening to Billie Eilish do some incredible singy things over drum and bass that acts more like a duet partner than an ostinato. That's cool.