Corey Hart - First Offense

You near, Steve? Normally we'd just listen to Mastadon's Once More Round The Sun and accept the inevitability of another year of it. This time i say NOOO! We're kicking off a new year of kicking things that can't kick back (because safety first) with the randomest assortment of shiny objects i scrounged up today. 

Before we do that though, i have a new standing offer. Well, not new, i just don't mention it very often. I will review any album of your choice for $5. That's right, i will listen to anything Honest Abe suggests in its entirety, write a full long form essay, and publish it on facebook and albums for eternity whether i like it or not. All the youtubery guys and gals do it, i just don't want to go through the hassle of maintaining a patreon. $5 to paypal.me/pnmit and a note with the album you want me to write about, no fuss no muss, no let me off this bus. If that's not worth $5 to you that's totally fine, i'll just pick what i feel like like normal. Today it's the totally out of left field First Offense by Corey Hart. He had a full rap sheet of additional offenses in the 80s and 90s and beyond, regardless of how "one-hit wonder" you feel about him, but i've honestly been wanting to see what happens after you fully commit to wearing sunglasses at night for quite a while. I expect a selection of similarly sweaty, sultry, some might say swarthy from the spray-tan, synthy Pop-Rock. Let's jump right in. 

The album itself is pretty interesting. It was recorded in England and Eric Clapton appears on the last track for no other reason than the producer said "Eric Clapton would love this song," and Corey wasn't gonna stop him when Eric said "i'd love to." It's a US platinum album, but only after the success of the single did it go quadruple platinum in Corey's native Canada. None of which matters, is it a good album? 

The joke of course is "go easy on him, your Honor, it's only his first offense." Can't honestly say i don't like it for the context. It's not a beauty contest, but even i can admit he wouldn't lose if it were. 

Oh man, that undulating synth-string ostinato is just classic, total noir, and the guitar solos are 24 karat. What a lead-off track. 

Peruvian Lady is lighter, but definitely not a cool down. I gotta tell you though, it is very difficult to reconcile the sultry, sexy, strong-willed image the song tries to paint with my mental image of the rainbow colored traditional Peruvian clothing. We'll just sweep all those connotations of human and cocaine trafficking under this deftly hand-woven rug. 

Lamp at Midnight? Hot for Teacher? None of these metaphors make any sense. Is he singing to an actual lamp? 

You guys broke up but you're mostly sad that she, not you, kept the radio after the split? Jealous 'cause she listening to other guys' songs, huh? 

Have you considered that i'm not good enough because your standards are unrealistic? It's a nice Sax solo, but this kind of stuff just doesn't hold up 40 years later. It's not her job to love you, dude. 

Does She Love You is another good lead off, but what's the deal with you and school? Are you literally 17? Who's Harold? 

So the real concept is that Corey Hart is the bad-boy heart throb, the "dangerous" rebel all the girls not secretly swoon over, but underneath it he's actually sensitive and vulnerable. I'm not a teenage girl, so it's a tad lost on me, but except for the blatant stylistic copying of Sting this is all really good. It's not all the time though, Corey Hart has an identifiable style and demeanor, but quite often it's built on an obvious Sting impersonation. I don't need to point out instances, you will notice them. Musically it's a real mixed bag of New Wave, Sax Solos, and Steve Lukather style guitar shred. It's not Steve Lukather, to answer my lead off question, but you wouldn't know from all the phasered gain the effects rack is pumping. 

Again, i am not the target demographic for this album, but once you move past the decidedly unembarrassed 80s version of the 50s-ness of the whole thing it's pretty enjoyable. Truth be told, if you've got even a smidgen of middle-aged woman in your psyche, who am i to judge? Swoon away, dude was not un-photogenic and i wouldn't change the station if any of these songs started playing. More than a couple moments flat out rock.