John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band

Primal Therapy is a largely dismissed and unsubstantiated form of psychotherapy developed by Arthur Janov that attributes current psychological distress to the capital P Pain of childhood trauma. Fun fact, according to the theory every person has that trauma and every person needs treatment. How convenient. Not to be confused with actual memories of that trauma, the goal is to experience and fully process this "primal Pain" so you can be a real Pinocchio again. Also not to be confused with Bottle Therapy, which is the much more straight forward approach of "accurately call it whatever it is and deal with it," no student loan debt or repeat visits required. Granted, you do have to take a swig to determine whether or not it can safely be poured down the drain, but i'm still walking the talk, aren't i? 

Not surprisingly, everyone blames Yoko for breaking up the up to 18 month long yet surprisingly affordable (audible eye roll) course of treatment. John and Yoko made it through a couple weeks of it before it turned into the same old circus anything a former Beatle did, and said "screw it, let's just make an album about it instead." And it's a doozy. Probably the most noticeable thing is that it's bookended by Mommy Issues. No sweet cream filling in this sandwich cookie of misery either, just snarkasm and swear words because he's allowed to say them now that he doesn't have to pander to family friendly TV values. 

Confusingly, Plastic Ono Band was the name of John and Yoko's Fluxus collaboration, so it's kind of like Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Poneys, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, or Eric Burdon and War except there are no actual members of the Plastic Ono Band, it's all just guest actors making one-off cameos. 

As is standard with these things, most everybody didn't like it then eventually decided "no, yeah, this is actually his best solo album." That tells me nothing, so i guess i'll just do it myself. 

By all first impressions this should be an idyllicly romantic batch of sappy love songs John's singing to Yoko as they lean against that tree. If you believe that then you clearly don't know John Lennon and Yoko Ono, and i've got a square foot of land in Scotland you can buy to lord over. Name a star or some patented lizard DNA after your great uncle if you want as well, bundle 'em all up and save 30% off the arbitrary price i chose for 'em. If not tied for 1st, this cover photo is a real close 2nd to Throbbing Gristle's 20 Jazz Funk Greats in the photographic sarcasm department.

The opening track Mother very seriously starts out as any other John Lennon song, but by the end he's painfully screaming like this is a Nirvana album. It's not funny, but it is pretty funny to imagine anyone in 1970 unsuspectingly giving it a spin for the first time. Let's continue. 

Just hold on John and Yoko, it's just you against your tattered libido the bank and the mortician but you'll make it through COOOKIEEE what the hell was that?! 

Remember the 5th of NovembKABOOM!! 

Damnit John, how am i supposed to seriously review this thing? Cookie Monster, sound effects, you did a Bob Dylan pastiche in there, is this an album or a Monty Python Skit? 

Working Class Hero is a Bob Dylan style ballad. If being a working class hero is as cool as peeing your pants, then i am indeed Miles Davis. That's not me saying that, that's what the song is actually saying, John Lennon just didn't have access to the movie Billy Madison for the added clarification. I happen to agree with that sentiment, but it's kind of one of those Bob Geldoffian i might have tried to be a little more humorous/less obnoxious in how i said it kind of things. Maybe leave the professional work to Jello Biafra and Les Claypool, fellas. In all honesty, hearing the original makes me appreciate the Judy Collins version from Judith even more than i already did. It's a song that almost requires an album of overarching situational irony to fully blossom. On a serious note, the political statement it makes is very straightforwardly "i reject being systematized into the Bourgeoisie. I refuse to sit at a desk and pretend that middle management is a worthwhile human endeavor for the benefit of our corporate overlords." I will quibble a little bit and say i think John Lennon would qualify as Petite Bourgeois, i.e. the "American Dream" Nixon spent years of his Presidency attempting to deport Lennon away from, but fun fact modern Marxist Thought (which is not what Marx actually thought) has largely accepted the Petite Bourgeois to actually be a unique and distinct older (i guess technically younger) sister kind of Proletariat that Marx couldn't possibly have imagined without ingesting mass quantities of psilocybin and rejecting as nonsense after the comedown. 

Is John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band too heavy handed? Honestly, for a "you only bought this because i'm John Lennon" album, this is pretty tame. Sure it's political, and confrontationally so, but it's certainly not Nailbomb or even The Clash. In contrast to their Live Peace in Toronto debut, the amount of "wind" contributed by Yoko One is completely unquatifiable beyond presumably being in the room and breathing, which honestly is a bit disappointing. 

People love to hate on her, but Yoko Ono is kind of the Nickelback, and by that i mean celebrity spokeswoman, for Intentionality. There is no delusion or surreptition taking place, she does what she does on purpose and your reaction to it is 100% you, not her. Nickelback doesn't suck, i just hate them and think their songs are dumb. 

And we end with the truly surreal 52 seconds of My Mummy's Dead. 

Is it good? Is it bad? Is it neither? What i do know is that this is an album you will acutely experience while you are listening to it. It's an album about confusing stuff with confusing stuff on it. 

Like McCartney, this is a Lofi album to subconsciously symbolize starting from scratch. Unlike McCartney, which nobody who doesn't already understand it could possibly understand, this album is immediately understandable no matter who you are. This album is John Lennon screaming "get off my lawn!" Whether you like it or not is kind of irrelevant, he very clearly and intentionally enunciated "get off my fucking lawn."