Rolling Stones - Hackney Diamonds


Moment of truth, it's time to check out the new Rolling Stones album, Hackney Diamonds. A little refresher might be in order.

I completely love everything about Rolling Stones except the sound of their records. I have glossy, well cared for original pressings and they sound like absolute garbage. Actually listening to them is agony.

I don't care which other famous people are playing on Hackney Diamonds, i don't care about genre or style or lyrics or even if they're too old and feeble to perform well, i just want it to not sound like sandpaper on aluminum siding. Is that too much to ask? Is it? There's a glimmer of hope, though, because i have a lot of new "Made in Czech Republic" albums that sound wonderful.  No more stalling, time to spin the purple circle for good or bad.

Holy shit, this is gorgeous! Yes, yes, absolutely yes, this sounds amazing, like human ears actually listened to test pressings. I know i said i didn't care about anything musical, but that's amazing too. This album just flat rips, and Kieth and Mick and Ronnie sound like Kieth and Mick and Ronnie. It's Rock, real Rock, a little trashy, a little punky, admittedly elevated out of the garage into nightclub headliner territory, but man it's good. There's not a single second of low octane until the Country ballad Dreamy Skies closes out Side A and the Lady Gaga punctuated Sweet Sounds of Heaven, but they certainly aren't lazy.

Icing on the cake, nobody forgot the concept during the flip. Hackney Diamonds is of course a sarcastic euphamism for broken glass in the streets (car windows, broken bottles, etc.). It's an album concept about getting back to actual honesty and telling the truth. "If you live by the knife, you're gonna get stabbed." Doesn't get much more truthful than that, kiddos.

Look, i don't need to keep Bottlesplaining this thing. Do yourself a favor and go check it out. If you even remotely like Rock and Roll, you'll be over the moon and back in line for a second, third, as many blast-offs as they'll let you take. Candidate for best album of 2023, no question. It's that good.

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