Hanson - This Time Around

How in the world do we tie this CD portion of our adventure together? Sex, gender, religion, war... i know! Let's check out Hanson's 2nd album! They're boys who look like girls and everyone loves to mmmHate them. I don't, i expect This Time Around to be great because contrary to what you might think, Hanson is awesome. I'm serious, without the trail they blazed the number of brothers allowed to be in a Rock band together would be limited to two. Chevelle and Greta Van Fleet wouldn't stand a chance without Hanson, 3 brothers forming a band together was literally part of their marketing strategy. All i'm saying is that mmmBop is literally the worst song Hanson ever wrote, of course it's terrible, they were literal real life children when they wrote it. Cringing through the first Hanson album is no different than cringing through the first couple Green Day EPs. This Time Around we get to hear songs about being an awkward teenager from actual awkward teenagers, and you don't get that kind of autheticism very often. Totally perfect conclusion to the CD chapter considering we started with a Catholic nymphomaniac old enough to be their mother.

I know what you're thinking, but they aren't a Christian Pop band, they're actually quite up front about intentionally keeping their religious views out of their music. They didn't fail to crossover, they just had the great misfortune of getting lost in the shuffle when their record lable merged into oncoming Island/Def Jam traffic, and in 2000 they finally got out of their deal and went completely independent. They're just a pop rock band who ditched the bubblegum as fast as possible. You gotta compare them to Matchbox 20 or Fuel or Maroon 5 to properly appreciate how not terrible they are.

Now don't get me wrong, they are unrelentingly chipper and you won't have any idea why there's turntable scratching, so you have to recalibrate your brain back to 1997 factory settings where Alt-Rock was the Mainstream. Even in 2000, this was underground, no hope of radio airplay Power Pop at a time when we just couldn't stand it on principle alone. The Hanson brothers all got piano lessons as kids at a time when most kids could barely play power chords on a guitar they didn't know how to tune. Looking back it's bizarre that Hanson was considered less marketable than All American Rejects, but at the time they were very much producing music for a miniscule demographic that at any other time would be totally Mainstream. Even crazier, they were incredibly lucky to get out when they did and had an extremely successful career on their own terms. What's this had business? They're planning to go back on tour this year with new music. Most bands don't make it past 5 years, Hanson's pushing 30 and 7 of their 8 albums got no major marketing or radio play at all. Hate all you want, they clearly don't need to care.

I don't hate them even slightly. Aside from being unwaveringly mainstream Classic Pop Rock anachronistically born in the Age of Irony, their songs are catchy, fun, you can sing along without feeling like a complete jerk, and they completely lack the kind of self-absorbed entitlement that usually makes Pop so unbearable. Granted they go real heavy on the dying and stealing my soul metaphors, but they're teenagers in love, what do you expect? 

I guess if you're not a teenage girl then the complete lack of variety might drag on, but the concept is "this time around," as in 13 variations on searching for a girlfriend. You can't tell me they aren't completely focused and on topic for all 51 minutes and 2 seconds. You might not be their target demographic, but you can relate even if you don't want to admit it.

Hold up, did he say "cocaine?" He did! He may be sure that he's not sure, but at least he's sure he doesn't want to buy cocaine from that creepy guy in the trenchcoat. Hanson bringing the drug specificity to Pop Rock, even i'm shocked and delighted. 

What an absolutely fantastic album. Dead serious, Hanson is absolute fire. Don't let the bizarre harmonica/turntable combo they like to use in place of guitar solos throw you for a loop, and don't get too hung up on Taylor's overly melodramatic breathy vocal delivery, this is totally good stadium-style Rock and Roll. It's intended to be accessible and popular, and it totally succeeds. 

I started out refusing to apologize for loving Madonna, took a brownian meander through Live and Genesis, and ended up reconfirming for myself that Hanson is awesome. Good job Bottle, even if i do say so myself.