Are They Really?

Tomorrow is bandcamp friday, so i can't forget to send my buddy Steven Stark money so my bearded magnificence graces the page of his new fantastic album From Red Dirt To Red Planet, but today we ask the question "are they? Are they really?" 

Granted, it obviously draws from the Columbia Records roster, but it's 1968/1969 and you're giving me Dion and Peaches And Herb? I mean, i guess if Rock is just snares on the back beat. 

Side 3 is mislabeled, by the way, Percy Faith is sadly nowhere near this thing. Ok, let's just take it for what it is, a cheap Columbia Records compilation full of what we'd more reasonably call Oldies. 

Sure, The Chambers Brothers qualifies as Rock. Leonard Cohen singing Suzanne, however, is not Rock. Lovely song, but not Rock, and no this record in no way merits a track 2 cooldown. All it does is forebode a bunch of SQUIRREL! 

Sure, The Buckinghams qualify as Rock. 2 for 3. 

Nope, Peaches And Herb is R&B, not R&R. Funny story, my brain just desperarely wants to pair the other Peaches with Herb and watch the hilarious catastrophe that turns out to be (if you don't know which Peaches i'm referring to, don't go find out, you'll feel very uncomfortable). 

Watermelon Man is Afro Cuban Jazz to close out this first side 2/5. I will say this, though, it's not garbage. These are good recordings. 

Can we please unfeature Mark Lindsay? Worst Louie, Louie ever. 

That's Life is absolutely stellar, but it's not Rock. 

Ahhhhh! What the hell is going on with the EQ of Three Window Coupe? Left ear is all lows, right ear is all highs. Not good for headphones at all. 

Dion. Meh. 

Red Rubber Ball and Turn! Turn! Turn! are objectively the only greatest rock songs on the whole comp, but other than that it's a totally wonderful hour block of random Oldies. 

I'll give you Moby Grape as Soft/Country Rock, but Down In The Boondocks is actual Country. I know your brains are all tainted by Bro Country and Hard Rock with unnecessary twang, but this is Fishin' In The Dark Up On Cripple Creek Country. 

People is also not Rock, it's R&B, borderline Disco a decade too early. 

Gary Puckett and the Union Gap is Blue Eyed Soul. 

K, so we need an important historical distinction here, and this is going to really mess with you. You ready? The concept of Rock does not exist before Rubber Soul. Note, were talking about Rock. Rock & Roll of course existed before the Beatles, but Rock is very specifically the mid-60s explosion and evolution that came with adopting the actual concept of Rubber Soul: "we're just poorly imitating our heroes in the garage/bedroom, and that's ok." 

Chad and Jeremy. Blech, but i can't deny it's rock, because like it or not it is. And The Cryan Shames to cool us all the way down. 

Whew, i'm glad that's over. Barely half of it was Rock, no Columbia Records discography lists it anywhere, it was intended to literally be the cheapest thing on the shelf, it was clearly thrown together merely because there wasn't any better album to press that month. No, it was not in any way intellectually stimulating, but for an album that literally fails all of my criteria for being a good album it was a completely enjoyable listen. 

Don't let me forget to buy that proper good album i mentioned earlier. It's not exactly Rock either, but it is absolutely stellar.