Starlight Mints - The Dream That Stuff Was Made Of

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this important bulletin:

CF: do, you, you, uh, you remember that scene in Bartman, i mean Batman Returns when, uh, when you're dead and the cats start eating your face off?

MP: yeees?

CF: that was awesome.

Now replace Michelle Pfeifer with Elmer Fudd and the cats with Chase from Paw Patrol. Decidedly less awesome. I thought we were finally done with Billy Madison, but nope. I paraphrase:

What everyone just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent bickering were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points (the points don't matter anyway), and may God have mercy on your souls.

Watching the world argue about Fox News tasting great, but Twitter being less filling is a terrible show to air at Thursday prime time. I religiously watch only UHF. Again, Michael Richards had his run in with people finding out he was a douchebag, but i wanted to find the marble in the oatmeal and drink from the fire hose. I want to teach poodles how to fly. I don't need no stinking badgers. Red snapper IS very tasty.

I like Starlight Mints because, like Chris Cornell said, it doesn't remind me of anything. No one's coming for your guns, because in real life people just kill each other. No Pulp Fiction monologue before hand, no blanks and ketchup packets, just dead people. Ask Brandon Lee. Stop romanticizing, or should i say fetishizing it. I'm trying to count to twelve like an adult.

I'm lying, Allen Vest has some of the best words, in the best order, that make me think of everything, and all 4 of their albums are so indescribably soothing that i'll just invite you along for the ride. See you tomorrow, nonsense 'merica the tv miniseries.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mdicm3ZXS9TS2od_ry9VaEgQQ69ZxTWM8

Next

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 4 Seasons - The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette

Image
This might be my longest  album review ever. But i swear a couple times, so it's worth the read ;) How could i possibly mention Jefferson Airplane, The 4 Seasons, and Frank Zappa in the same context? Zappa said "this is rediculous" and a few years later The 4 Seasons said "you know what, Frank is right. This IS ridiculous." To which Jefferson Airplane said, "Oh. Ok. Got it." The real question is: which one is the most transgressive? Zappa said stop fighting, you look like idiots. Jefferson Airplane said i guess if love and community is a bad thing, then sure we're criminals and we'd be happy to move out into the fields and live peaceful lives without your garbage, let us go already. The 4 Seasons said hold my champagne for a moment. In 1969, The 4 Seasons released the single most ironic, acidic, extravagant, and downright befuddling album ever created, The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette. Zappa was accused of writing "shitty doo-w
Read more

Welcome to my blog, and my record collection.

This is a blog about my love of listening to albums. It started off as a nightly perusal of my dad's record collection (which sadly became mine) on my personal facebook page. Over the last two months it has become quite an enjoyable process of simply ranting about what i think is a real art form, the album. It needs a more permanent home. Some of my reviews are positive, some negative. They might not be what you expect from album reviews, but i hope you at least find them entertaining. For the most part i do very little research, and they tend to be train of thought reactions rather than calculated essays. If nothing else, know that i'm really listening to them and whether they are amazing or abysmal i want you to go listen to them too.  I'll start migrating the 60+ i've written so far over here in the next few days, and hopefully get to the point where i just start writing them here. I'd probably even take suggestions if you're just dying to know my tho
Read more

Pat Benatar - Seven The Hard Way

Image
I don't know about you, but i love Pat Benatar. Yes, that's also her debut album with the single most underrated song in the universe (My Clone Sleeps Alone) in the background, but that's just a generic non-self-titled debut album. We're jumping ahead to her 6th album, Seven The Hard Way, because that, ladies and gentle germs, is how you kalaidescope a concept. Not one, not two, not three, but 4 protien-packed layers to this metaphor. You don't really need to know the overly complicated rules of Craps to know that A) it's gambling, B) "the hard way" refers to rolling doubles, so good luck rolling two 3.5s, and C) you're going to lose, one way or another. It's a joke, but more importantly, it's Pat Benatar and the roll out is Sex As A Weapon, so the innuendo is not intended to be subtle. Wait wait wait, that's only 3, Bottle, where's 4? You're right, last but not least, side B opens with Seven Rooms of Gloom, a Holland-Dozier-Hol
Read more