Gin Blossoms

I'm going to argue that Gin Blossoms have two albums. Obviously they made more than that, but 2006 to present is the ironic happily ever after of their story. The story itself goes something like this:

Band from Arizona tours all over the country, gets record deal and continues to tour, breaks up for 10 years, reforms and still plays shows. They're just a band who had a few years in the mainstream spotlight while alternative rock was the most popular genre for suburban teenagers. They are the softer pop side of said genre (some might say power pop), as evidenced by Robin Wilson's ever present tambourine, but that's a needlessly fussy distinction.

Like most bands, they came from a scene and their scene was centered in Phoenix/Tuscon, AZ with more than a couple exceedingly long road trips through El Paso to the Gulf of Mexico. You could argue that their mainstream success was due in large part to the Seattle breakthrough, but only in the sense that the major labels were really keyed in on the commercial potential of alternative rock in general. It proved to be highly lucrative, didn't it? I would argue, however, that these guys happened to be out looking for a deal at the right time, and they got their taste of corporate finance, pointed their handlers to their real friends back home, and everybody got a little shot of Southwest flavor on their musical scrambled eggs.

Their first album is from 1989, so we are talking exactly the same time frame as Nirvana, Pavement, Pixies, all bands who one way or another were just following REM's lead. That first album doesn't count because they reworked half those songs for their real first album New Miserable Experience. Believe it or not, it took an entire year for anyone to really latch on, but the singles magically skyrocketed into the Top 40 in 1993 and they were off to the races.

The title alone is worth the cover charge. It's the kind of sarcastic self awareness that's just too big to fit in the trunk of the death cab, so Ben just sighs and resigns himself to buying new deodorant when he gets there. Go ahead, try to say "new miserable experience" in a non-sarcastic way. You can't. It's either gallows humor, or insulting the mopers, and either way my brain giggles.

Hey, jealousy. Long time, no see. What you been up to?

That sign says "next exit Allison Road, your sister is named Allison, i'm gonna have an epiphany in a few weeks and make that a hit song."

And they cap the whole thing off with the schlocky country joke "you can't call it cheatin'; she reminds me of you."

Then comes Congratulations...I'm Sorry, which would be a great title if it weren't literal: it's Congratulations (on the success of New Miserable Experience).... I'm sorry (that you had to choose between your friend Doug and making another record). Doug's alcoholism was so bad that he couldn't stand up to finish recording the first album, and they had to fire the founder of the band or get dropped from their deal. He started rehab, but killed himself as their second album hit shelves without him. That's a downer of a story, but i tell it to give some more context to the downfall of my musical generation that i've been hinting at. The 90s and 00s were one of the most dismal times in the rock music psyche. I don't think it's much of a secret that the real mainstream music machine exploits the most generally troubled and vulnerable artists for profit. A&M didn't give a shit about Doug Hopkins, the lead guitarist and songwriter of Gin Blossoms, and they definitely weren't interested in watching their latest investment fall apart without capturing it on 2 inch tape. Sure, yeah, a mediocre album generates less revenue than a great one, but compared to no revenue at all it's a no brainer business 101 decision. To quote the entire chorus from Less Than Jake's "How's My Driving" off Losing Streak:

Fuck Doug
I'm not going out like this
he said man I'm all I got
and I won't be missed
and this makes
this makes no sense to me
ain't the way
the way it's supposed to be

That's why there are only two Gin Blossom albums. You'd need a decade long break after living that new miserable experience, same as anyone else. But, like i've said before, time heals most wounds and scars are the mementoes that prove you've been doing stuff.

I'll try to find a happier album tomorrow. I promise. If you're inclined to read too much into my mental state like i've warned you not to do, just remember that there's usually a snarky joke hiding in there. It might not be a funny ha-ha joke, but you'll notice that i haven't pulled the stickers off, now have i?

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