More of Roy Orbison's Greatest Hits


Waaaaiiiiit. Is Bottle going to review an Amy Winehouse album? 

No.

Tonight we ask the toughest question ever asked by people who understand the concept of questions. Who's prettier, Jason Priestly or Jennifer Connelly? 

I suppose we need to back up a little. See, Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly wrote "I Drove all Night" for Roy Orbison. He totally recorded that song in 1987, but that was the culmination of his 2nd wave of popularity and it just got lost in the shuffle and he unfortunately died in 1988. Not to rag on Steinberg and Kelly, but in 1989 Cyndi Lauper recorded it and they were like "sweet! She's not dead and people will finally hear our awesome song." Finally in 1992, some guy pulled up his original and gave Roy yet another posthumous bout of stardom. Strangely bizarre non-sequiter fact, Roy Orbison and Glenn Danzig were friends.

Is Roy Orbisons's sampled and augmented original version awesome too? You betcha, but just like our actual question, we're comparing apples and whatever the opposite of apples happens to be. I'm a rum and coke swilling record lover, and i think Cyndi's and Roy's versions of that song are equally awesome. So was teenage Bottle rewinding scenes from The Labyrinth or feasting on 90210 reruns?

Mwahahaha. I'll never tell. Here's Roy Orbison's 1964 best of album with "more" in the title. How many people deserve that? He's amazing. Anyone who doesn't adore Roy Orbison is a pathetically wretched soul indeed. I have the Hendersonville, Tennessee pressing if you're a weirdo who cares. 

As far as alternative masculinity goes, he's about as non-toxic as Elmer's glue or Crayola crayons, both of which i've eaten in my lifetime (no explanations). Ok, honestly Jason Priestly is probably prettier, but i'd be hard pressed not to Tyler Durden him up a little if he got too fresh for her liking......

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