4) Armageddon

 


4-4-4-6 

[Ring, ring, click] 

Sandra speaking, how may i assist? 

We took the liberty of starting without you. 

Pretty sure you know i know that, Bottle. You picked up The Motels first, and i figured you didn't need me there for that one. It's a tad "on the nose," as you like to say.

Pretty sure you know i know you did that, Sandra. Hurry up, i'm just about to light the indoor campfirehazard. 

...Several eventful moments later... 

Everybody here with all their facial hair? Good. We've had a few dress rehearsals for the next day of the rest of our lives, but today it's Sandra's turn. Everyone give her a round of applause, this is a big step. No, C-horse, not the slow clap, you jackass, a nice golf clap or even a coffee house finger snap is more appropriate. Our friend Sandra has decided to join us for this round of Adventure Time. Normally we'd be gentle on her, but she's dead set against that, so are there any questions about the first album by The Motels? 

[Dead silence] 

Ok, ok, i see we're all a little unsure about this. What's the problem guys? She's been here for every other adventure time, right? 

Well, yeah, but it's different, you know? Before she was Sandra, now she's like Sandra Sandra. 

That's the dumbest thing i've ever heard, Skip. Fine, i'll start. 

What the fuck is the deal with that Carole King song? Now i'll tell you. That sentiment was legitimately expressed to Carole by her babysitter. You're supposed to be as dumbfounded as Carole was at that moment. Works every time no matter who sings it, but it's got a special place on this album for sure. 

Skip, you're here 'cause i need a second opinion. Compy's here 'cause all this nonsense needs to be compiled into a coherent experience. Sandra's here to make sure i don't get too carried away and turn into a complete jerk. Bottle and the Beefettes, no album can escape unreviewed! This one's Story Time With Sandra, but it's sure to be an adventure. 

Jeez lady, how much did you spend? There's like somewhere between 6 and 8 albums here. Good thing we're about to be snowed in at the Stanley, am i right? 

Album number 2 is some seriously obscure stuff. Armageddon's only album, and self titled to boot. They were a brief British supergroup of recently defunct famous bands formed by Kieth Relf after The Yardbirds broke up. Kieth died after being electrocuted by his guitar while working for the follow up. You know that third prong we have on all our stuff now? Yeah, tube amps didn't have grounding back in the day, and electric guitars and microphones plugged into them could totally Lawnmower Man you into eternity. 

But my word this album is amazing. It's prog, but of the heavy metal persuasion. This is one of those hidden gem albums, only not super famous because they didn't tour. Dead frontman didn't help on that front either. Still, if you run across it out there in the wild, it's a keeper. As for what it says about our new old friend Sandra, you'll just have to wait it out with the rest of us (or read the lyrics, they're moderately insightful).

Part 5

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 4 Seasons - The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette

Image
This might be my longest  album review ever. But i swear a couple times, so it's worth the read ;) How could i possibly mention Jefferson Airplane, The 4 Seasons, and Frank Zappa in the same context? Zappa said "this is rediculous" and a few years later The 4 Seasons said "you know what, Frank is right. This IS ridiculous." To which Jefferson Airplane said, "Oh. Ok. Got it." The real question is: which one is the most transgressive? Zappa said stop fighting, you look like idiots. Jefferson Airplane said i guess if love and community is a bad thing, then sure we're criminals and we'd be happy to move out into the fields and live peaceful lives without your garbage, let us go already. The 4 Seasons said hold my champagne for a moment. In 1969, The 4 Seasons released the single most ironic, acidic, extravagant, and downright befuddling album ever created, The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette. Zappa was accused of writing "shitty doo-w
Read more

Welcome to my blog, and my record collection.

This is a blog about my love of listening to albums. It started off as a nightly perusal of my dad's record collection (which sadly became mine) on my personal facebook page. Over the last two months it has become quite an enjoyable process of simply ranting about what i think is a real art form, the album. It needs a more permanent home. Some of my reviews are positive, some negative. They might not be what you expect from album reviews, but i hope you at least find them entertaining. For the most part i do very little research, and they tend to be train of thought reactions rather than calculated essays. If nothing else, know that i'm really listening to them and whether they are amazing or abysmal i want you to go listen to them too.  I'll start migrating the 60+ i've written so far over here in the next few days, and hopefully get to the point where i just start writing them here. I'd probably even take suggestions if you're just dying to know my tho
Read more

Pat Benatar - Seven The Hard Way

Image
I don't know about you, but i love Pat Benatar. Yes, that's also her debut album with the single most underrated song in the universe (My Clone Sleeps Alone) in the background, but that's just a generic non-self-titled debut album. We're jumping ahead to her 6th album, Seven The Hard Way, because that, ladies and gentle germs, is how you kalaidescope a concept. Not one, not two, not three, but 4 protien-packed layers to this metaphor. You don't really need to know the overly complicated rules of Craps to know that A) it's gambling, B) "the hard way" refers to rolling doubles, so good luck rolling two 3.5s, and C) you're going to lose, one way or another. It's a joke, but more importantly, it's Pat Benatar and the roll out is Sex As A Weapon, so the innuendo is not intended to be subtle. Wait wait wait, that's only 3, Bottle, where's 4? You're right, last but not least, side B opens with Seven Rooms of Gloom, a Holland-Dozier-Hol
Read more