Sheriff

B: i got a good feeling about this batch, C-stine Chapel. 

C: may i? hmmm. If i didn't know any better, i'd say you were going for the best and worst covers you could find. 

B: you are good, but are any of these albums? I honestly don't know, never heard of any of them. 

C: well, i mean it's all rock and roll to you and me, but you've got 2 Canadian bands, a band from Minnesota which is basically still Canada, one from England, and one half English/American hybrid. It's all so obscure even i don't know what they actually are. 

B: i know, it's exciting. I agree, these are completely obscure from a mainstream perspective. I might recognize one or two songs once i hear them, but i don't know the limeys from the loons from the hats made out of racoons. I could probably educated guess about them, though. Wanna charge in all willy-nilly like normal? 

C: actually, since you're compiling them yourself instead of sending me out, why don't we have a good old fashioned get together where everybody banters about what they think they'll turn out to be. After that, yeah do your thing. Thoughts? 

B: that's some mighty fine leadering strategies you got there, C-quester. Did Sandra throw a powerpoint party while i was gone? Then again, i says to myself, Skip went nuts a while back, why not let the C-man steer the ship for a change? Round up the unusual suspects for a rousing game of What's This About, Then? 

[Several hours later] 

B: alright kiddos, no peaking. Here's the list of bands in no particular order, i'll pick one and we'll wax prophetic before imbibing: 

Gentle Giant

Sheriff

Detective

(White) Lightening

FM 

Eenie, meenie, miney, meriff, 

rhyming says we'll start with Sheriff. 

Any takers? 

E: ok, fine, this can't possibly be good. 

B: says who? 

E: just look at it! 

B: oh, yeah, winner of the Bottle of Beef Worst Album Cover Ever award, hands down. They even used the fully pixelated version of the exact same photo on the back. How many shitty albums with great covers have we covered? This could be amazing. 

S: really? 

B: of course! They look like a rock band. A 70s/80s rock band specializing in macaroni and cheese, but none of us have any idea how it sounds. Should we try to guess decade, country of origin, genre? I think we can all agree there's no way this is prog. 

E: that's probably fair, whatever it is it will be mainstream rock of its time. Probably derivative. 

B: are you new? All rock is derivative. 70s 'stach and hair,  but that's an 80s white pant suit if i've ever seen one, i don't even know what to do about the guy on the left, but i'll bet you money this will be ridiculously polished and out of nowhere hard rock. 

S: really? They look so goofy. I expect synths and embarrassment. I know that's probably not fair, but it's so awkward, how could it not sound equally tragic? 

B: because it's the gimmick they were going for. Hear me out. Yes, everything about this album cover screams "budget," but i guarantee this is a "talent will win" album. Everyone behind the scenes had the same reaction you do, but they were also thinking "but they are so good, people will warm up to them." People didn't, but i guarantee it will surprise you. At least one of those goofy looking guys can play lead guitar like he means it. No clue which one, but nevertheless. Ready? Here we go. 

C: wait, wait, wait, you didn't try to guess their origin. 

B: i thought i did, it's either 70s American arena rock, or an 80s Canadian Foreigner cover band. One of those guys is gonna squiggly lead guitar all over this thing. Liesure Suit sure Larry looks like a hyper-tenor. They might even be better than early Prism. Canada, final answer. Play.

See, what did i tell you? These guys are borderline Hair Metal. I have heard Makin' My Way before. No, it's not high concept art, but i'm so burned out on the standard High-Rise Apartment Rock canon that this is a breath of fresh air. Statistically speaking, more Americans wish they could get the hell out of California than catch some rays on the beach for more than 36 hours when 80k a year is considered dirt poor, and i'm perfectly happy to drive 55 and make Sammy even later for work, but it's their daydream not mine. Unlike Red Rider, they pronounce words properly. Who among you can actually claim to hate it on the first pass? Skip? 

E: no, you're right, this does actually rock. But really, who would take a chance on this album if it were sitting on a random Kmart shelf? 

B: no one, absolutely no one, that's why Sheriff isn't famous. I never said the game wasn't a beauty pageant, did i? Should we delve deeper and search for the sabotage like with Guiffria? Maybe next time, i kind of like this 5 first dates approach. It might not be as compelling as other projects, but if i've learned anything from Chinese Democracy, it's that sometimes i just don't have any idea what's going on. I took an educated gamble that it wouldn't actually suck, and this time i think i won. I think we'll let Skip pick the next one....