Bottle talks publishing - parts 1, 2, 3, and 4

Part 1

So, you want to write a book, huh? Well, congratulations, it costs exactly zero, zilch, nada, nothing to do that. Think up an idea, actually write it, save it, and tada you're done. I'm proud of you, that was a lot of work.

Now that that's over, who's going to read it? I don't want to make you sad, but at this first stage the answer is nobody. Nobody cares. Unless you already have people texting or calling or emailing you to find out when that book they want is going to materialize, there is no market for your book.

I'm not a guru, and i'm not selling you anything, you create an audience by telling a person you wrote a book and asking them if they want to read it. Wash, rinse, repeat. Paying people to read it is totally your call, i personally say no to that one.

I publish with Ingram Spark; it costs $49 to have them make your book ready to print and you can order 0 or many for yourself. Only you can order them unless you buy an actual ISBN and allow Ingram to distribute it. 

Hypothetically, you could buy a crate full and sell them out of the trunk of your car as your full time job. It's your book.

That's all for this first post. In the future we'll get down to some of the nitty gritty details and frustrations you should be prepared to encounter. Nobody wants to open a door and stare into GREGORY's gaping maw on accident, now do they?

Part 2 - actual cost 

Ok, Bottle. How much does it really cost? 

49+85=134 

It costs $134 to publish a book with Ingram. You can certainly find all sorts of ways to spend infinitely more money, but as far as the required infrastructure for selling your book all over the world for the rest of time, the price is one easy payment of $134 per book. 

Ok, what do i actually get for that money? 

The setup fee is $49, the ISBN is $85. We can break that down and say 24 goes to setting up your book PDF, 25 goes to setting up your cover art PDF, and 85 goes to buying the unique bar code on the back. Your book also gets listed online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon for no additional cost. Just so we're clear, no books exists yet. This is what it costs to publish your book through Ingram. Same price for me, you, the indie bookstore that has its own imprint, a major publishing house, anyone. You are buying lifetime access to Ingram's corporate services for that book that you own. They take care of the printing, accounting, shipping, etc., and send you, the publisher, the royalties. You are now a publishing company with a dedicated revenue stream. It costs you nothing to "sell" your book. Granted, you currently aren't making any money, but that just means you need to start telling people where they can buy it (there is no market until you create one, by talking to people). 

Have questions about anything so far? I'd love to elaborate on some of the more abstract aspects of being a publisher, but this is dirt level functional reality. Don't be shy, if anything it will help create my future posts.

Part 3

Believe it or not, i've just created a thousand branching hallways in B-space. They're weaving around like tree roots on steroids and could lead us anywhere. So, with that in mind, let's stop and smell a few of the philosophical flowers in the form of a Q&A.

Q: Isn't self-publishing bad?

A: Who told you that? Was it other competing publishers who want part of your revenue stream off the top for nothing in return? You're a big people now. You are a publishing company, same as them.

Q: But i'm just an author, how can i get anywhere without the help of a big publishing house? It's not real if i publish it myself.

A: so many problems with that, i'm not sure where to start. Ok, first of all, you are all the functions. You're Bottle, Skip, Sandra, Gladys, Bridbrad, Milton, you've got all those skeletons wasting valuable closet space, all your minions are imaginary, you have to figure out which of the 4 dozen helmets you're supposed to be wearing.

Second, you own your book, the only thing you can do is sell bits and pieces of its existence. We haven't looked at pricing, but all you can do is trade some of the profit from every book you sell for some of the profit from every book someone else sells. That can work or that can fail, but it's an entire book in its own right and i have more important things to think about at the moment.

Q: Ok, if i really am every woman like you say, then what do i do?

A: every person you can talk to is a potential customer. Sell them your book. There is no help, there are no answers, start dealing. Ingram gives you two markets for free. Share the links, tell everyone where they can buy it. Friends and family, then acquaintances, then random strangers, if you know the owner of a bookstore, ask them to read it. Maybe budget some money to order a few copies knowing that you will hand them out for free to people who might be able to help you. Again, this is a completely different hallway than i plan to travel at the moment.

Q: what if i don't sell any books?

A: welcome to capitalism! I warned you that nobody cares. You have to give them a reason to care. Sometimes that reason is completely unrelated to anything about the fact that you wrote a book. A conversation today can lead to a sale 3 years from now, that's why it's important to keep it alive without wasting any money now. Only pay for what will actually benefit the Bridbrad who sells your book. That Bridbrad is you, and you're 134 in the hole. Get past that 134 and then we'll talk.

Part 4

Let's talk about the weird major publishing formula you didn't know you already knew. First they release a hardcover, then a paperback, then they farm it out on that crummy trade paperback pulp. See? That's what you've been brainwashed to expect from a "real" author. It's total nonsense. The reason they do that is to give first editions and collectors a higher level of prestige and/or resale value, then naturally lower the price for what most people find a more reasonable comparative price, then once they aren't using their own money anymore they farm it out in mass media format to the now established market for that particular book. That's not Capitalism, it's market manipulation. It's not how YOU sell a book, it's how THEY sell publication to authors while simultaneously delegitimizing your entrepreneurship. The hardback pays for the paperback that pays for the copy us dirt wranglers actually buy. I actually like pulp, but that seemed weird for the actual content of my particular books. By all means consider going direct to the pulp rout for a novel or romance or smut or whatever it is you write. You have no market, remember?

The point is that you the random person in a bookstore are not the actual consumer, that's a complete illusion. Yes, you determine the end profit/loss, but your impulse book buy represents pure profit for an already successful venture. That expensive first hardcover is not the original investment either, it's the product of several stages of getting past that magic "and then we'll talk" number. Again, this hallway is much too long for us to follow, we have to talk about a serious looming pitfall. 

Selling a book is only half of the sale. Is your customer allowed to return that book? If so, then there is about a 3 month purgatory before you actually collect that royalty. Having your book on a bookstore shelf is absolutely pointless if that bookstore is going to send it back to you for a refund. Refund policy has to be part of your sales pitch. Ingram lets you have them sent back to your own physical address, or literally burn them. Throwing them in the incinerator is definitely cheaper, but either way you pay the cost from your publisher's share. 90 days with receipt is a pretty standard refund policy, right? I mean they hang signs that say that in the store. I specifically talked about it when i published the first book, if you remember that far back. Refund policy isn't arbitrary, it hurts actual people you didn't know exist when you try to return stuff 6 months later like a jackass. Never return anything, ever. Exchanging things is generally ok, but refunds are complete economy murdering mayhem.

Time for a break before delving into some technical aspects of actually preparing your book for Ingram. Not secrets, just stuff that looks insanely complicated if you don't know how to decide what you want. Thanks for reading, by the way. Toodles.

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