Bottle of Beef and the Kickstarter of Doom

I've gone and done it. Here is my first kickstarter page to fund the physical CD release of Fragile Moments (aka the least weird guitar pieces from my catalogue). There are a few different levels with appropriate rewards, but any amount you might be willing to spend on Bottle of Beef's very first physically published album would be fantastic.

The goal is $400 and fundraising lasts for a month. You absolutely won't be charged if it doesn't meet the goal, but you'll definitely get a copy (probably well before September) if it does. Please consider sharing even if you're not interested in this particular CD, and good luck on your own adventure through this crazy universe.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/bottleofbeef/fragile-moments-cd-release

[The next day]

S: Damnit, Bottle! Now we're getting tons of emails trying to sell us marketing for that stupid kickstarter.

B: I know, isn't it hilarious?

E: No. Hilarious is not a word i would even consider in this situation. Annoying, perhaps. Possibly even nauseating.

B: I get that, Skip. There's a bucket to your left if you need it.

S: Why are you doing this, Bottle?

B: Because i feel like it. It's fun. Gives me something to write about. I don't actually care if it succeeds or not.

S: How can you not care? This makes no sense.

B: I believe you. Ok, maybe "i don't care" isn't the right phrase. Would it be cool if our friends and family helped fund it and shared it with other people who might enjoy my cerebral shenanigans? Sure, but i'm not going to lose any sleep over it. History is full of "business" not giving a crap about creative people, so i'm full of creating whatever i feel like, good or terrible, and pointing out how desperate and unrewarding "business" actually is. Money is only as useful as what you can do with it. 90% of the things i want to do don't actually require any money at all, but buying back the free time, energy, and tomorrows needed to be allowed to do them is ludicrously expensive. I'll tell you what i'm not going to do. I'm not going to hand a random stranger money for access to their rolodex so i can cold-spam people and beg them for money. I think that's an extortion scam no matter which floor of the downtown high rise your office is on. Kickstarter itself taking 5% for maintaining the infrastructure is totally lovely and fair, so are the bank transaction fees, that's legitimate work that needs to be paid appropriately. Paying you $5 to call Chad and Margo and Phillip to ask if they want to give me $5 is not legitimate work, and i won't pay for it.

E: Did you know you raised a dollar? Is someone being a jerk?

B: Oh, that's just the Creative Fund by Backerkit. They pledge a dollar to every campaign before they offer their marketing services, kind of like how i buy an album before i write about it. The difference is i buy the actual thing, they write off the 46% percent of dollars they actually end up having to pay as a cost of doing business, and try to make a profit from selling marketing strategies behind the scenes. From what i can tell they are successful at that. Good for them, but i don't want what they're selling. If you do, fine, i have no fight in that arena.

S: But you want people to buy your CD.

B: Sure, but only if they want to. No is a legitimate answer, and i won't get my panties in a wad if you say it. You're allowed to think i'm crazy or sad or silly or angry. It doesn't mean it's true, but you're allowed to think it. I find my music aesthetically pleasing, you might think i suck. I don't actually suck, and a lot of people don't find my music aesthetically pleasing at all, so we'll just walk around that impasse when we get to it. Never once have i demanded a refund for not liking someone else's creativity, and i still argue it has a right to exist. Well, so long as it doesn't actually make my life miserable. My brain can handle a lot of damage if i have time to recuperate afterward. Trying to take away that recovery for your own benefit is where i draw the line. I don't treat people that way, and i don't let other people treat me that way. Simple as that. Now, if you'll excuse me, i have some Rush albums to enjoy/write about.