Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy


Hands down the best story about Houses of the Holy is that Storm "Inflate the Pig" Thorgerson's original submission for the cover art was a tennis court with a lonely racket on it. Jimmy "That Hurts My Feelings" Page was furious at the GWAR comparison, so Aubrey Powell did a complicatedly color manipulated overlay of two children at Giant's Causeway that he himself hated until he actually listened to the album at the actual Giant's Causeway. Where's Sleazy when you need him? 

I have nothing against Led Zeppelin or their albums. Not a fan of the people they were at various times, but that has very little to do with the music, in my opinion. Houses of the Holy is quite interesting in that regard. It's their first non-roman-numeraled album, their last before creating Swansong, the only one with printed lyrics thus far, and critically speaking the apex of their career before the extravagance got annoyingly anti-productive. It's also a Random Crap album, par excellence. I could say "random stuff" instead, but i'm supposed to be a curmudgeon so i'm sticking to it. For this album it's like little ketchup packets of happiness, frivolity, contemplation; they're like children climbing over rather large boulders. Perfectly lovely concept for all these Classic Rock Radio staples. Coincidentally, i jammed one of said staples quite a ways into my G-chord finger this morning, and i've got the bandaid to prove it. It hurts, if you were wondering. 

So, this album is a "hey look we can all afford personal recording equipment" type of album, and some of the songs they worked up appear on the next 2 albums. The point is that this was a pretty happy time in their career, so they made a comparatively happier album. It took quite a while to sell a billion copies or whatever, but that's because it's a noticeable departure from I-IV. The only real question is if it's fun to listen to, or at the very least flows pretty well considering how well known most of these songs are out of context. Let's find out. 

Did i get switcharooed for a Who album? No, this is just The Song Remains the Same. Not gonna lie, it has always sounded like a song they tried to write for Heart, but Nancy was like "thanks, but we'll pass." 

Rain Song is fine. I mean, George Harrison's complaint was that Led Zeppelin never writes ballads instead of "maybe let that girl out of the closet," but whatever, I don't like track 2 cool-downs no matter who does it. Perfectly lovely song, though i'm not sure why dividing numbers or measuring the quality of a characteristic is such a mystery. 

Hey, one of those top 5 Led Zeppelin songs we all know and love. 

And The Crunge is total crap. It's every bit as bad as Get In The Ring from Use Your Illusion II, but without the legitimate vitriol that makes that track at least understandable. This is just no one told Led Zeppelin this track is vacuous garbage. I think maybe John Paul Jones thought it was crap, but he got out voted. Anywho, side 2 almost kinda has to be better by default, doesn't it? 

Great news, it is. The entire side is daily drive-time radio, even the Reggae track D'yer Mak'er isn't embarrassing. 

Ooh, ooh, i know what happened to Rosie and the Originals. "Protracted legal battles with their record label over royalties and credits." Good thing you guys are about to be your own label and only let Atlantic distribute it. 

Now, as is often the case with Random Crap albums, what you're hearing is random crap. There's no actual reason why they love that girl, or why they walked over those hills, or why they're happy about dancing in the sunshine. Totally fine because the concept is replicated children playing on the playground of random geography. There is something sacred about that kind of innocence and exuberance, and this album doesn't pretend to be anything it's not. I totally believe this was fun for them at the time, regardless of my not liking 3/4 of Side 1 all that much. Side 2, in case i didn't properly clarify, is completely lovely. You can just ditch The Song, Rain Song, and The Crunge, and end up with a truly enjoyable EP called Bottle of Beef Presents Houses of the Holy (Head Canon Edition). Enjoy.

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