Preposterousness

S: Knock, knock. 

B: Sandra! Perfect timing. Should we listen to an actual Boots Randolph Album, or another random Country singer, or covers of Herb Alpert, or go totally crazy and listen to an album that has both Glen Campbell and Dionne Warwick on it for absolutely no logical reason whatsoever? 

S: Oh, uh, i don't like any of those choices. I was just wondering why we're actually back here. 

B: I dunno. I take that back, i was talking to Narzon, and it just wasn't working like i wanted it to, so i just kind of put out the psychic APB so you'd be here when it happened. 

S: Who's Narzon? 

B: Oh, yeah, you don't know her, she's like a rogue Auditor working through some stuff, and i didn't have anyone to yammer at so i just vaguely tried to imagine her as best i could. Sorry, hope you're not upset. 

S: Have you finally lost it? 

B: Lost what? 

S: A finger hold on sanity. 

B: Probably. I mean, it was a tenuous relationship to begin with, am i right? 

S: Probably. What's all this about? 

B: I so badly wanna make a record. 

S: That's ludicrous. You're going to pay 3 grand to publish an actual record that no one will buy of what? 2 of p(nmi)t's looptastrophes? GREGORY's two EPs of insanity? Just so you can say you did it? The books were bad enough, at least they were cheap, but this is insane. 

B: No argues from me. 

S: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! 

B: That's what i sound like on the inside. Wanna do it? We could set up a kickstarter or something to pay for some of it. 

S: Do even half your friends have record players? 

B: I know at least 3 of them do. 

S: Shut up, Bottle. No. 

B: What if i begged Noonish Moon to let me pay to publish one side of singles and the other side Chapman Street. 

S: As enticing as that sounds, still no. I'll tolerate 3 digit vanity projects if i have to, but 4 digits is out of the question. 

B: Where's your sense of adventure? 

S: Lost it playing poker. 

B: I thought you won. 

S: I thought we didn't need money to have fun. 

B: True. We don't. We need money to pay to publish records in 2023. 

S: How about i pretend i didn't hear that and we wait for a different idea to wander in here? 

B: You're no fun. 

S: Guilty as charged. 

B: Fine. Be that way. 

S: I will. 

Well, that got us nowhere in a long-winded fashion. Didn't even review an album either. Such a waste. I wonder if any of those guys from the lathe-cut fad a few years ago are still in business. That's only a 2-digit vanity.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 4 Seasons - The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette

Image
This might be my longest  album review ever. But i swear a couple times, so it's worth the read ;) How could i possibly mention Jefferson Airplane, The 4 Seasons, and Frank Zappa in the same context? Zappa said "this is rediculous" and a few years later The 4 Seasons said "you know what, Frank is right. This IS ridiculous." To which Jefferson Airplane said, "Oh. Ok. Got it." The real question is: which one is the most transgressive? Zappa said stop fighting, you look like idiots. Jefferson Airplane said i guess if love and community is a bad thing, then sure we're criminals and we'd be happy to move out into the fields and live peaceful lives without your garbage, let us go already. The 4 Seasons said hold my champagne for a moment. In 1969, The 4 Seasons released the single most ironic, acidic, extravagant, and downright befuddling album ever created, The Genuine Imitation Life Gazette. Zappa was accused of writing "shitty doo-w
Read more

Welcome to my blog, and my record collection.

This is a blog about my love of listening to albums. It started off as a nightly perusal of my dad's record collection (which sadly became mine) on my personal facebook page. Over the last two months it has become quite an enjoyable process of simply ranting about what i think is a real art form, the album. It needs a more permanent home. Some of my reviews are positive, some negative. They might not be what you expect from album reviews, but i hope you at least find them entertaining. For the most part i do very little research, and they tend to be train of thought reactions rather than calculated essays. If nothing else, know that i'm really listening to them and whether they are amazing or abysmal i want you to go listen to them too.  I'll start migrating the 60+ i've written so far over here in the next few days, and hopefully get to the point where i just start writing them here. I'd probably even take suggestions if you're just dying to know my tho
Read more

Pat Benatar - Seven The Hard Way

Image
I don't know about you, but i love Pat Benatar. Yes, that's also her debut album with the single most underrated song in the universe (My Clone Sleeps Alone) in the background, but that's just a generic non-self-titled debut album. We're jumping ahead to her 6th album, Seven The Hard Way, because that, ladies and gentle germs, is how you kalaidescope a concept. Not one, not two, not three, but 4 protien-packed layers to this metaphor. You don't really need to know the overly complicated rules of Craps to know that A) it's gambling, B) "the hard way" refers to rolling doubles, so good luck rolling two 3.5s, and C) you're going to lose, one way or another. It's a joke, but more importantly, it's Pat Benatar and the roll out is Sex As A Weapon, so the innuendo is not intended to be subtle. Wait wait wait, that's only 3, Bottle, where's 4? You're right, last but not least, side B opens with Seven Rooms of Gloom, a Holland-Dozier-Hol
Read more